Hello again everyone, Yesterday I didn't end up going to my meet up group due to money issues. I helped W with picking up the kids as she had to work late (again) and when she got home we were talking and I mentioned maybe going out and where. Like in the past she seemed almost jealous. She seemed very unhappy about the fact that I met some nice people and had fun. Her words were sarcastic, her tone of voice was dismissive and the look on her face was very unhappy. Now, she's the one who told me that I need to go out and do things on my own without her. She goes out with her friends from work and that day went out to dinner (which we can't afford!) with one of her work friends (I think, she didn't say who), she has no interest in me in ANY romantic sense at all. Hell she won't even touch me or sleep in the same room! Why in the world would she be unhappy that I'm going out and doing things without her when this is exactly what she says she wants me to do and does herself?
I know, trying to make sense of an MLC mind, dumb! The part that bothers me the most I think is that she has been depressed and anxious for a long time. We worked through that at first then came B-day. In the months since, there have been times when I have seen things start to get so much better. We were doing things together, sure she would do things like tell me she didn't want me with her at her co. X-mass party and than come home and tell me about how crazy and out of character she acted and was proud of it! (After this she told me her friends from work who weren't there told her that they were told by other people in different dept's that they thought she must have been drinking, she was acting so "crazy", dancing with other men, etc. And, again, as she was telling HER HUSBAND this, she was PROUD that she was noticed!). But, she was still at least wearing her ring and sleeping in the same bed. Then she starts talking to her dad. He tells her that she needs to leave the kids with me and come visit him. That she needs to just leave me since things will just go back to the way they were if she tries. Suddendly she stops sleeping in the same room. Stops wearing her ring, opens her seceret bank account. It's like she was making her way out then daddy gets involved and back in she runs! Farther than ever!
Is it a bad or good thing that she seems to not like me going out and doing things on my own? I think that if she cares at all than she must still feel SOMETHING for me. Then again maybe she's projecting the way she's been acting when I'm not around on me but still what would it matter if she doesn't even want me in her life? I had an awful dream last night where I was with my daughters at her dad's place. We find this statute that looks like my W. Her dad just leaves and doesn't care. I try and find what this thing is and I open it up and it's empty inside. For some reason I expected to find my W inside and whole but there's nothing. My daughters start to cry because they know they lost their mother forever now and I feel powerless to do a thing! I feel like I let them down, her down and my FIL is just standing there laughing! I usually don't even remember my dreams but that one really got to me!
If my W really doesn't love me the way a wife should, really wants to leave and be on her own, doesn't want to even try, why the attitude about me going out without her? Is this normal? At this point I don't think she has an OM except her father (maybe in past, not sure)but she must want to find someone else, why else take off her ring? (When I asked she said "There are many reasons, one in particular but now isn't the time to talk about it") and that was 3 weeks ago and I haven't brought it up since nor has she. I did decide about a week after that I would take mine off as well. Part of trying to do a 180 as I've made sure she knows I will stick to my vows until the divorce was final and this seemed "out of character" for me and seemed like a good 180. Anyone have any ideas as why she is acting this way?
