The plan hasn't changed. I have to admit, my L seems to be a bit slow in getting this going. She is very good from what I've heard and she has a lot of clients to deal with which is likely the cause for the delay.
My L had talked about filing an interim custody order as well. We decided it would be best to see how my W responds to the D claim first and then respond based on that. If the response isn't that she wants to be a bit more reasonable then we will have the custody order in the next week or two.
No, unfortunately up here she has to be formally served, the mail isn't an option.
Me-40,W-37 D7, D5, S3 Separated Oct 3/2013 T 11 YRS M 7 YRS
The plan hasn't changed. I have to admit, my L seems to be a bit slow in getting this going. She is very good from what I've heard and she has a lot of clients to deal with which is likely the cause for the delay.
My L had talked about filing an interim custody order as well. We decided it would be best to see how my W responds to the D claim first and then respond based on that. If the response isn't that she wants to be a bit more reasonable then we will have the custody order in the next week or two.
No, unfortunately up here she has to be formally served, the mail isn't an option.
Think about what I highlighted.
And hasn't she already responded de facto in the letter from her lawyer? Being served with divorce papers isn't exactly a pleasant experience, so I doubt that alone will be enough to soften her position.
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
Drew,I don't think it's likely my situation is going to be figured out any time soon. I agree it's not likely that my W is going to change her approach with the custody issue. At the least, my W will know that I am going to take action to back up what I've been saying for so long. Regardless of what she may or may not think I am doing what I need to do for myself and my kids.
Depending on how my W responds we will go forward from there. My L has been doing family law up her for over 30 years so I'm going to defer to her when it comes to how best to proceed.
Me-40,W-37 D7, D5, S3 Separated Oct 3/2013 T 11 YRS M 7 YRS
BTW, my L gave me the option to file the interim custody order right away. She felt it was best to serve the D papers, get a response and then go from there. I agreed with her.
Me-40,W-37 D7, D5, S3 Separated Oct 3/2013 T 11 YRS M 7 YRS
Your L may have practiced family law for 30 years with the expertise under belt, but SHE takes directions/directives from YOU. She's working for you as your employee. You need to be very, very clear on what your non-negotiables with your L so she will have a good, solid blueprint to work with.
You cannot give her a Harry Potter blueprint that is blank and hoping your L will use her magical powers to make that invincible ink appear on the paper. It doesn't work that way. Ya know?
For sure Wonka. My L is going to do whatever I tell her I want, more or less. I think I need to listen to her advice though. She isn't suggesting I wait a month before filing the interim custody order, only a week or two so we can see how my W responds to the D papers.
Me-40,W-37 D7, D5, S3 Separated Oct 3/2013 T 11 YRS M 7 YRS
What I am about to say..err…write…I do for YOUR benefit.
You say you still love her and want to reconcile – yet your actions are to file for divorce.
You say you want the kids, yet when you L offers the option to file “interim custody orders right away” – you elect to file for D.
I totally understand that your L felt it was best to file for the D first. I get that. That is how YOUR L felt. Notice your L led you in a direction that worked for HER – NOT YOU per se.
You make excuses for your L “she has a lot of clients” – Let me ask you…. What excuse are you going to give your kids – when they ask why they cannot see you more often?
You said your L was going to serve her last week…..(FTR, another week without a parenting plan in place). Now it is between Friday and sometime early next week.
Then…..
Quote:
Depending on my W's response there are further steps I can take with regard to my kids.
“depending on your W’s response……”
This to me means, you still do not have a plan for when you will get the kids. When they will be able to sleep in their bed, in their room.
Your W has already responded in term of “reasonable” as it relates to the kids. So what are you thinking that you are going to scare her into agreeing to send them back to the home that they KNOW?
When Drew asked you to look at what your wrote…your response is….
Quote:
Drew,I don't think it's likely my situation is going to be figured out any time soon. I agree it's not likely that my W is going to change her approach with the custody issue.
You followed this ^^^^ up with….
Quote:
At the least, my W will know that I am going to take action to back up what I've been saying for so long.
Honestly, dude, IF I were your W, I wouldn’t even be worried. You have been predictable and wavering the whole time. You have NOT stood up for yourself!
Quote:
Regardless of what she may or may not think I am doing what I need to do for myself and my kids.
Really? What you need to do for yourself and your kids – really?
Sorry man, from where I sit (and FTR, what the f*ck do I know)…. You have NOT done what you needed to do for yourself NOR your kids. You have done what YOUR W wants. You have travel the path of least resistance. You’ve said, the kids are better off in your town, you’ve bi*ched about your MIL being unable to take care of the kids, your W listens to your phone calls with the kids – like you are some sort of perv. Really and you think you have stood up to her for YOUR KIDS?
If it were me, I would be on the phone with my L, expressing MY WISHES. Explaining that I want my kids back home NOW! Asking that every resource, every possibility be explore to get my kids home with DAD NOW. If it were me, I would have already packed up my chit, driven and gotten my kids. How my W felt would be irrelevant.
I am sorry man….your actions DO NOT MATCH your words in the least bit.
I hope and pray…that one day if your kids ask…..why dad…why didn’t you come get up more often…. That you have an answer. Cause if they are my kids…. “the law”, “the lawyers”, “your mom”…those excuses would not matter. They will grow up based on what they SEE. So what are they seeing Scorp7?
Are you showing them…that THEY matter? Are you showing them that THEY have a RIGHT to fight for what they believe in vs. RESPONDING to what is done to them.
This is your life dude…
This is just my opinion.
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Just wanted to add my support for you regarding the custody issues.
My situation is going at a slower pace than yours and we both have similar goals. I chose to commute 3 hours a day to a different province to be closer to my kids and have the best chances for equal time with them. Is that a option for you?
H 37 WAW 32 S 4 (Autistic) S 2 Together 11 years Married 6 Bombshell Dec 1 2012 House sold, flying solo June 1 2013.
