Your XW is your XW, she isn't going to change until she's ready to change. And no one jumps up readily to say, "yes, I've done things that could make my S say he hates me" and especially not to their XH.
About the updates, I would guess she's putting on you how she would behave in that situation. Let it go as much as you can.
How long are you going to do joint counseling? Have you talked with the counselor one on one?
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
