On the flip side, STBXW recently complained to me that she feels sick every morning that she wakes up and just wants this whole divorce thing to be over and done with.
I think a lot of WAS's think all their problems will go away at D! I doubt it's going to bring her the relief she's expecting.
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Thus far, we have established a decent parenting plan, which gives us 50/50 time with Daughter.
That's great news, if you can agree on that then it makes the D process a lot less painful!
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"Primary parent" has not been established as of yet. I will be pursuing that diligently, as I do not want STBXW to be able to uproot and relocate Daughter.
This may vary per state when it comes to 50-50 custody, but in my case there is no primary parent in the decree, we're "joint managing conservators." There is a primary residence, but that's not in the decree either, it's designated through the school district.
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but I was just given notice that stbxw's lawyer decided to discontinue working with her as of this week.
Interesting. Any idea why that happened?
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STBXW requests for settlement are fairly reasonable, with the exception of asking for 28K dollars, above and beyond everything else. That is something that I just am not willing to accept.
When you're going through a D don't think like that, think like this- "is this something a judge is likely to accept?" Because THAT is all that matters, not what you are "willing to accept". What you think is fair and what your W thinks is fair are two different things. The judge will make the determination though. I don't think my final settlement with W was fair to me at all, but W thought it was fair to us both and I wasn't willing to fight for months (and pay a L for months) to dispute it. And at what cost to my health? I was in a great place before W threw the curveball of wanting more money in the 11th hour. Suddenly it was like going through BD all over again- I was stressed, not sleeping well, having trouble focusing at work, etc. So I could have fought it and aged prematurely, LOL! But I chose to give that to her, finish the D and move on with my life and I am really glad I did. I'm not telling you to roll over, I'm just suggesting you think of all these things as you progress towards a final settlement.
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Loneliness is the number one thing I am struggling with now.
You might read No More Mister Nice Guy, it really helped me to understand how to address loneliness. The solution to loneliness is to learn to be happy with yourself when you're alone. You can be alone without being lonely. In fact you really should learn to be happy/ content alone BEFORE you start dating, because otherwise you may end up dating for the wrong reasons.
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I am at a point where I think that just getting this divorce over and done with is in every bodies best interest. I guess that means I have dropped the rope? I am not sure.
I'd say based on your post history that you're definitely getting there. There used to be a lot of anger and resentment towards W in your posts and that has largely disappeared. That's a sure sign that you're finally letting go.
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It still feels crummy, but it seems to make the most sense.
I don't think it'll ever feel "good" for any of us, but sometimes it feels "right". And if it feels right, then proceed without regrets.
