W said its over - Said I can't change her mind

[Duds3]

Thanks for the reply sandi and Puffy. A big goal of mine is to re-establish my social life. I have been reconnecting with friends and so far so good. Whatever I can do to GAL and get back to my old self I will do.

A big personal goal of mine is to find my way back to coaching college basketball. Now that I have been fired from my job it has been the thing I have been working on since last Friday.

A small goal of mine as discussed by Denise and I, go a day without checking her social media. She has of course blocked me from all her social media outlets, but still follows everyone in my family. I'm working like crazy to resist the urge to check her Twitter. We always did funny things on Twitter to remind each other of our love for one another. I will make it a day!

GAL is going strong as my workout routine is closer to the normal it was before the bomb. Running a half marathon at the end of month. It will be my second one, I cant wait.

I did not text my W back in regards to her last message about my job. As I said I have been NC with her for over a month now.

An interesting event occurred last night. I went out with a friend of mine to have a few drinks and watch the Thunder-Clippers game. As we walk into the bar, my W and three of her friends are sitting by the door. This is the first time I have seen her in person in almost two months. When we walk in, I simply say, "What's going on guys?" Her girlfriend who she was with started talking to my friend and I stood and listened until they finished. We then went to the bar and ordered a drink for ourselves and started talking to a few other people we knew there. I was later told by my friend as I was ordering my drink, my W got up and left the bar shortly to be followed by her friends. My friend and I finished our two drinks and left about an hour and half later.

On my drive home I was thinking all sorts of thoughts but mainly, I am not going to stop living my life and having a good time. I acted as if and my old normal self when I was at the bar in front of her. I almost felt sorry for her in some ways abruptly leaving but then remembered she choose this not me. I cant worry about her feelings or actions, I have to take care of myself. I was shocked to hear she left so fast. All seams a little crazy to me but that's not for me to worry about.

I truly want her to be happy and find whatever makes her happy. But I am not going to allow myself to stop living my life. I'm not going to not do things because I see she is at the same place I am.