People on the boards always say that the old relationship is dead and that you've got to start a new relationship w/ your spouse. However I can't help but feel like I just got my old H back and I'm so happy to see the guy I once knew again.
The reason we say this is because something went wrong in the marriage, most often it was apathy that crept in. If you seek to go "back to normal" then that would mean back to the same old habits that brought your M down to begin with. Unless you want to repeat everything you've been through again a few years down the road, you need to look at this as a new marriage and you MUST do things differently this time. So, what are you doing differently? Are you going to MC? What about Retrouvaille?
As a side comment, over the last couple of years I've seen several people come here who were here many years ago DB'ing their marriages, and they've come back because of exactly what I describe above- they fell into old habits and their marriages fell apart again.
