afraid I have waited too long #3

[nit84]

So anyway,

I am on bit of a up and down today. My W told me on Sunday that she isn't working the job, that was paying her a small amount, anymore. She said out of the goodness of her heart she was still going in the mornings to open up.

I said ok what are your plans to pay bills? She indicated she was borrowing money to pay her share.

I said that really stinks that you have to do that but it is what it is.

So the last couple of days my work schedule has taken me past her location in the afternoons.

Somewhat surprising but not totally unexpected, she was there when she said that she would only be there in the mornings.

I let it go because maybe he still owed her some money and she was there to get it.

Next day same thing so I sensed something was up. Yesterday morning I decided to ask a question. I asked "did such and such pay you everything you are due?" She responded "yes, because actually it has been awhile since I have been being paid." I responded " Oh, I thought this just happened recently."

I then asked "if she is only there in the mornings who closes up in the afternoon? does such and such do it?". W responded "yes"

So Yesterday afternoon she was there again.

My thinking is she is telling me she is not getting paid in order to save money for L or to buy things she wants/needs before filing and to avoid paying her share of the bills.

It is her money, I get that, Just makes it frustrating to be lied to. I understand that is WAW behavior but it is no secret W is leaning towards D, so why not tell me "I'm not paying the bills because I need to save for a L."

What difference does it make at this point?

I think I am pretty detached in a lot of ways. If my W would be making money and paying her share of the bills I would probably be more detached but since she isn't this is building some resentment again.

I told Her I have forgiven myself for things I did wrong in our M and I also have forgiven her for her part of things going wrong and this was freeing and allowing me to maybe start to move on.

This issue is collaring me again a little.

I could go two different ways around her location but it would take an extra 20 mins so I can't really afford to do that. Tell me if I wrong why should I change what I am doing to avoid possibly seeing her?

Should I ask her about it or just let it go.

She asks me if I am going to fight her on the D. I said " It is your choice if you want to file but I don't think D is a solution." I wont stop you from doing something that you feel is in best interest but understand I also need to do what is in my best interest."

I feel like I am starting to get angry over this and I don't want to but how can I bring this subject and be firm not confrontational but firm without her thinking I am snooping?

I know I cant control how she takes it or feels about it but I need some suggestions on how to approach it in a calm mature way.

I can do this without raising my voice, being judgmental or coming off as controlling if I just had a some idea of how to bring it up.