Reaching out for support and advice 4

[bluesgal]

I wish I had a few more minutes in the day to keep up with all the stories I like to follow on here. Hopefully I'll get to spend some time on here this weekend.

I am DBing like crazy. Sometimes I forget that I am because I will have negative or sad thoughts, but then remember that I keep them to myself. H is seeing his counselor tomorrow. He really likes her and I hope he gets the help/medication he needs. We've spent a couple of days together recently. We rode together for an hour to our D softball game. He stopped for a quick bite to eat and I was full, but he offered me a bite of his sandwich to taste how good it was...something he always used to do. We drove along the Mississippi river for awhile after the game was done and had some nice conversation. Shared a snack and looked at pretty homes along the river.

He came over last night and we grilled out burgers and had a nice evening. He cleaned out the grill and talked about getting the camper ready for summer. We talked about the kids and shared some proud moments.

It's always tough when he leaves. I never know where he's really going and it gives me a sick feeling. The old him would have never left for a minute. He is so far gone from me that some days I think it will take a total miracle for us to R our M. I will keep on DBing. What choice do I have? I feel better having a PMA and having healthy hobbies and friends than I do following him around and feeling rejected.