Exactly what I was thinking - an older dog from the nearby shelter. On hold for the moment, while I try to figure out how long I'll still be living where I am, but certainly an option for the future.
Well, H just left, after only about 30 minutes. I let him talk, validated, didn't argue or defend myself, didn't cry or even start to (even though HE started to, as usual). He said he has spent alot of time thinking, and he thinks it's 'time to end the marriage.' Not at all surprised. I had 5 days to prepare and this is exactly what I thought he would say. He has no concrete plan, and says we should use a mediator. I thought you only needed a mediator if you can't agree on stuff?
Anyway, I think something really happened to me a couple of weeks ago. I hit a wall, where I just decided to not care anymore and really let go. I think I actually have. It's the get-out-the-popcorn-and-pull-up-a-lawn-chair thing. This is nothing different than the last 4 times he has indicated it's over, over the past 10 months. Really. I don't think he has done anything to further this situation. He seems as confused and in a fog as ever. He actually said things are 'cloudy' for him. Really?!
So I still am not going to DO anything myself. If he wants this, HE will have to do the work. Meanwhile, I feel pretty good. I have come a long way in 10 months, and I feel that no matter what happens, I'm a survivor, and life will be good again.
So, back on the DB wagon. Just sitting tight. Watching the MLC show. I'm learning so much and GROWING in ways I never thought possible. Thanks to this board, and the insights of those who contribute that have been through MLC themselves, I understand this situation so much better than if I hadn't ever found this site. And I would be a huge mess right about now! Kudos to all posters who contribute! I'll keep posting...
Me 53, XH 57 M 20 (+1.5) years, no kids BD June '13 H moved out July '13 Confirmed long-suspected PA Feb '14 H filed for D Nov. '14 D March '15
