One of the traps I have fallen into is I am sinking all my extra money into paying off debt and getting things for the house and the kids. I know Dave Ramsey says to make an emergency fund first, but I feel guilty having that money sit there when I could be paying ahead on bills, etc.
You need that emergency fund more than you need to be paying ahead on bills.
No more stuff for the apartment until you have that fund. You're pretty well set up now.
Make a game out of how low you can get your grocery bills for a couple of months. If you could save $50 a week for two months, that's $400. Bulk beans and rice are cheapest, crock pot recipes are convenient for a working mom, pasta's not my favorite (wheat is EVIL!) but if that's in your repertoire, it's cheap too. Check out the Tightwad Gazette books from the library - she will inspire you and there's lots of great creative ideas in there for your kids.
I'd sell things on eBay instead of Craigslist; no need to meet up in person. Save Craigslist for large items too bulky to ship.
If you think you have jewelry that actually is valuable, then yes, get it appraised. I've never owned anything worth more than a few hundred dollars at best, which I wouldn't bother getting appraised, but if you have anything of real value....
You might approach some of the moms at your daughter's daycare - perhaps some of them have difficulty getting there after work, and would pay to have you take their kid home with you a couple nights a week? Also, if there is a hospital nearby, nurses work weird shifts and might need evening babysitting. Waitresses too.
Also - is there any way to earn more at your job? I know you probably don't want to do that until the divorce is settled, but after that - can you get any overtime hours? Put in for a raise?
As for the kids' lunches - $2.50 for a lunch doesn't sound too bad - does your ex split this cost? Do the kids actually eat the food? Do their friends get school lunches or bring their own?
If it turns out the kids would actually prefer to bring their lunch, it's only worthwhile if you keep it cheap. PB&J sandwiches, apple and homemade brownie - run the math, but probably a dollar or so. But the extra stress on you to keep the lunches made, and the kids begging for pricey treats to put in their lunches - may be more of a headache than it's worth.
