You sound sooo much like my WAS...except you were the LBS. How do you do it?
Well, as time went on (after BD) I started remembering that I wasn't really happy in the M either, I was just gutting it out because I thought it was the right thing to do for the kids and for God. We were great co-parents, but a lousy married couple. We had a consistent sex life, but beyond that we offered very little to each other. We both quit working at the M. I was totally willing to give it another shot but she wasn't and that's OK. We both have good jobs and can provide for ourselves and the kids, so we didn't experience financial hardships like a lot of people going through this do. S and D all went pretty smoothly and that's made it easier to accept. My XW is a great mother and a good person, she wanted out and I respect that now. I don't think I did early on (well, I know I didn't) but I'm at peace with it now.
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Its been 3 years since D was final and he came out with OW (not sure how long before D he was with her). Anyway, tell me where the on/off switch is.
It's on the back of his head, you activate it using a baseball bat. LOL! No don't do that I'm just kidding
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I am in such a better place now and have done all the work on GAL and PMA and worked on myself. I have a new amazing life 1000 miles away from X. It's gotten easier but there is still than pang in my heart when he's talked to my D or S.
I still experience that now and then too, especially if XW is at my house or I'm at hers and all the kids are around (which is very rare these days). It's a reminder of what once was and I do miss that. There's no ill feelings though, it's more, what's the word.... nostalgic I guess.
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Have you started dating?
Yes, about a year ago so well before the D. I've been clear up front that I'm not looking to rush into anything, but that has worked out well because most of the women I've seen feel the same way. I only had one R that got semi-serious, but she got busy with her business and it kind of petered out.
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Has your X encouraged you to date?
It's hard for me to imagine her ever being comfortable enough around me to talk about dating, she's still very much a closed book when it comes to communication. We discuss things related to the kids but that's about it.
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When you found out the convo with your sister how was your sister about it?
My sis is over 10 years younger, so we weren't very close growing up. I think she was 6 when I started college, and after college I moved to another city, so we just never really bonded. I think she was actually closer to XW than me! So the convo was just kind of informational if that makes sense, no emotions around it.
Originally Posted By: suckerpunch
You still inspire me, Buddy! It always seems like our paths and circumstances are so very similar. It gives me a lot of hope, that maybe one day, I will be in such a great place. Glad to hear you are doing well!
Thank you! You've grown a LOT since the start of your sitch, you'll get here, maybe not as fast but it's not a race, we're all on our own timelines
Originally Posted By: JonF
AS - I so want to buy you a drink sometime. I hope I can find my way to your neck of the woods some time...
You bet, or just come hang by the pool and I'll get the margarita machine out
