First....You belittled your wife to someone. This really isn't about you talking to a third party, it is about how you talked about her (remember the 5LL book....You do not do this as it is not loving behavior).
Now is it dumb what you did...Yes....Now use it as motivation to not doing it again.
On multiple occasions you were not listened to yesterday....and it frustrated you and is your number one hate....How does it feel? Once again...use that as motivation to change how you communicate as people surely feel the same with you.
Kudo's on handling the situation with your son....Sounds like a much better talk than you two are used to having.
FYI....There is no slack in your world....You either do or don't. So don't expect slack as it isn't coming....You used your slack coupons up awhile ago.
