Wife moved out to be with her Tour Guide Lover

[MrBond]

I don't believe that DR is in a downloadable format. You might have to buy the book.

[Oxford1]

Ok thanks

[Oxford1]

I can't remember if I mentioned it here, but when we left the lawyers she went to kiss me goodbye, I turned away she may have caught my cheek but I heard her sobbing when she drove off. ( it kills me when she cries)

What if I had pulled her close and kissed her passionately?

She still is my wife...

[ye21]

I can't remember if I mentioned it here, but when we left the lawyers she went to kiss me goodbye, I turned away she may have caught my cheek but I heard her sobbing when she drove off. ( it kills me when she cries)

What if I had pulled her close and kissed her passionately?

She still is my wife...

Dont think about that, work on yourself, she choosed another R, if she wants to be back with you , you have to increase self esteem, find a different version of yourself first and she has to do the same, your old R its death, I was in the funeral

[Oxford1]

Oh freaging hell, my head just exploded off my shoulders.

I just got back to the house and I went upstairs and noticed that she has moved all her stuff back into her closet. She actually organized the entire closet including my side.

Back last July just before I went on the trip where she first had him come visit ( recall she said it was always an EA until Israel) had purchased a sexy little teddy with a G-string. She wore it for me and then the next day I left and when I returned I figured out that he was in town when I was away.

When we had gone shopping I saw it in the wagon and she said I was not supposed to see it it was a surprise. I have always believed that she actually bought it for POSOM and because I found it she had no choice but to wear it for me.
Well when checked the closet it was gone.. So now she's either wearing it tonight or on that last night before he leaves. I always said I was going to throw it away or hide it but never did, now she probably found it when she cleaned the closet and brought it with her...

How did you guys get past all the mind movies. It's really hard..

[AnotherStander]

What if I had pulled her close and kissed her passionately?

WAS's cry out of guilt, not because they miss the LBS or want a passionate kiss or anything of the sort. Most everything they do is centered around themselves. At some point most of them come out of that, but for now it's all about her.

How did you guys get past all the mind movies. It's really hard..

Read The Happiness Trap, it deals with this exact subject and explains techniques in helping you learn to put it into perspective and minimize the impact. I would attempt to describe it but I really can't do it justice. That book helped me immensely early on in my sitch.

[Oxford1]

I am acting from a place of fear and worry about the future. Plus I am completely overwhelmed right now.

I have so much to do and take care of without dealing with this divorce and affair, that I am spiraling down a hole...

I am trying , but I can see how weak I am at his point.

This is why I have asked to sit by myself with the collaborative coach next week!

Another issue is my sessions with my IC. I know she is trying to get me to disconnect and let my STBXW go.

She spent half of yesterday telling me my STBX is a lier.and that all,she does is lie. That from the day I met her she has lied,,that practically her entire life is a lie.she is even lying to OM when she's been around me and not told him. Sometimes the way she says it is very frustrating it actually makes me defend the wife.

Then she says how do you know her sister is not lying..

How does she know that ten years ago I was being lied to?

Ugh
__________________

[Oxford1]

So I just ordered DR. I should have it tomorrow.

My only problem now, is that I feel like now I am falling out of love.

My WAW moved all her stuff back home,but still ran off with her OM to visit his friends for the Holiday, leaving her sons to celebrate Passover without their mother.

I am wondering if this marriage is worth saving.

The thought of her with this other man is starting to disgust me ...I don't know if she did come back if I could ever touch her physically and intimately again!

[Oxford1]

Weird thing is it's almost midnight and I got that weird rush of missing her and thinking she's leaving in 6'hours to fly to New Mexico.

Another first...
First Valentines day
Her 53 rd Birthday
And now Passover
In 32 years without her.

And I can't believe it this right now this second is the first time tears have streamed down my face the entire time from last July (13) to this second. I have screamed, destroyed a speed bag and broken some boards (with his picture taped to them) but I never actually had tears stream down my face.

[Oxford1]

SO when she moves back, that is my question.

Do I try Plan A or Plan B or is there stuff I will find in DR when I read it this weekend?

I want to be prepared.

Plus Funny how she asked me to drive with her to see DS21 in Vermont a week from this Sunday. We would do it in one day so its 4.5 hours in each direction alone in the car. So if I am such an awful abusive jerk, why would you do this, driving through the Adirondacks and Green Mountains with your nut job husband???

Is this a good idea to do?