Barrybran - Yet Another Thread

[Barrybran]

I'll get back to Mach's post as I need to read and think. He's right that I'm an "I know" guy so I just need to take a step back and think about what's been written before I respond to it. In the meantime, I need to vent!

It's amazing how quickly a day can turn. I worked this morning from 6:30am to 2pm and the day went smoothly. I felt good. I'm enjoying work. I was supposed to work until 2:30pm but my wife called to ask me to go up to the principal's office this afternoon and my boss let me out early. The day started to turn at this point.

My boss took my wife's phone call and told me my wife was on the phone. I was with a customer and couldn't get to the phone so I figured that meant to call her back. I didn't know that my boss had put the phone down with my wife on the line. While this was happening there was some banter and I mentioned to my boss that I had got into trouble for doing too much housework. I still find this hilarious (despite how I currently feel) because you just don't hear of women complaining about men doing {i]too[/i] much housework. I get on the phone and my wife tells me she heard that I'd said it. Oops.

I head over to see my wife to swap cars and ask what she wants to know from the school principal. As I head into the school I get a short text exchange where she tells me she was "livid" that I'd told someone else about our business (one of the issues that came up when I cheated). I have tried hard not to mind read but I don't know whether her being emotional (even negatively) is a good thing or not. Lately I've felt a big, fat "whatever" from her when it comes to our relationship so to know that I can still cause her feeling about "us" was a positive in my book. Maybe I'm thinking too many things are positives but I took it that way. It's helping to think of the positives so hopefully I'm not being naive. Anyway, she tells me she could have yelled at me for it but because she was at work, she didn't. So something I thought was funny turned out to be a strong issue to my wife.

So then I head into the principal's office. Long story short, he plays down the incident, I assertively and firmly tell him that an 11 year old choking a six year old is assault, I find out my son is friend's with the other boy, that they were sharing a book and markers on the bus, that my son caused the situation and that the other child involved is unstable. I know my son and I love him but to find out what happened was not a surprise. I went and spoke to his teacher to confirm the story, which she does. I decide to try and do the trust-building thing and ask him what happened. I feel I handled this part of my day excellently. I told him he wouldn't get into trouble but he had to tell me what really happened and to his credit, he did and I listened without interrupting. I told my son that what the other child did was wrong and he was punished because of it. I told my son what my teacher told my son, that by not returning the other boy's markers he made the other boy angry and while the other boy's actions were not condoned, my son's actions caused the other boy's negative feelings. I also told my son that by telling us only half the story that my wife and I were worried about him and angry with the school when the school had assessed the situation, dealt with it and felt the issue had been resolved. I still feel a phone call to my wife or I would have helped but I understand why they didn't as my son basically 'got on' with his day without ill-effect. As I said, I'm really happy with how I handled this part of the afternoon.

Onto daycare to pick up my girls and I wind up going down a ski slope. First, I pick up an overdue invoice which was a surprise as my wife told me she set up the bank account for payments to come out of it. Then, I ask a 2yo where her shoes are and she goes off and plays. After 15 minutes, the shoes are found and off to D4's room. She wants to go and pick up everything other than what I ask her to pick up. Meanwhile, S6 is banging on a bongo drum and D2 is running around playing with everything. Long story short, it took longer than usual to leave daycare and between my stuff up with my wife on the phone and my daughter's not listening, my number one hate, I was feeling very frustrated as I left.

I head down to my wife's work as she's not going to be home before the kids go to bed tonight and as I let the kids out of the car, D4 cries that she can't get out. She's tied the string on her shorts to the seatbelt and can't get out. Problem is, I can't undo it either. So I pull my daughter out by freeing her from her pants (thankfully she had tights on underneath) and we all go inside. Once inside, my wife is on the phone. I wait. And wait. And wait. Just as I decide I'm going to take the kids to the shops, she gets off the phone and comes out. I ask my son to tell my wife what he told me which he does while I take a time out for myself. I then ask my wife about the direct debits and I get the hostile tone of voice again and tell her I can only report the information I have. I retrieve the invoice for her, get the kids to give her kisses and cuddles and leave the store.

So here I am now, in the loungeroom, kids are in the other living area watching cartoons and I'm not going near them. I was fine just three hours ago and now I'm feeling very flustered and frustrated. Stupid thing is, I'll look back on half of today later and laugh. Hell, even the bit about doing too much housework is still funny to me even if my wife doesn't see the funny side. I'm glad I have my sense of humour.

All I can say is roll on 8pm... kids' bedtime. I love them dearly and I do love my wife but today just isn't my day I think. Lots of work to do on myself