1. She is stopping the D, she said because of money....( do you remember believe half of what they say?) if a person really wants a D they will find money under the stones, so again thats a great sign.
Then she goes to say, she "doesn't mind you dating but hates the idea at the same time..." Me personally up to today I don't care about my first exgirlfriend dating other guys because I simply don't feel nothing for her...
hi ye21. My W is not stopping anything really. I filed for D and she's asking me to stop. She's not saying she wants to stay married and she's even saying I can "date". Just leave the money on the table. I don't feel good about an open M and I can't do that.
me: 47, W:49 M 16.5 years T 17 years Three kids - D17,D14, S13 Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13 Bomb drop 11/29/13 W moved out 12/5/13 I Retained L 2/20/14 D filed 3/17/14
Hey Paul....no worries. Be kind and gentle with yourself. You've traveled on a very rough road.
thanks Wonka! I really appreciate your words.
me: 47, W:49 M 16.5 years T 17 years Three kids - D17,D14, S13 Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13 Bomb drop 11/29/13 W moved out 12/5/13 I Retained L 2/20/14 D filed 3/17/14
Paul if you tought this was gonna be easy here you have the proof its not, now you can do something different, you just need to trully believe it. You dont want to D, we get that part so lets work on that if thats what you really want, getting D its different than setting boundaries, my suggestion, write in a paper what you want and what you dont want... For example: I dont want D I want my W not to spend my money I want to spend time with my kids I want a healthy R with my W
Once you finish the list in the right side, write actions that you can accomplished... For example, I dont want her to spend my money.........find a way to avoid her spending my money without getting D, what about openning different accounts? What about asking your family members for help opening accounts under their name so she cant touch that money or access to that? She is not getting D so there is no judge that can frozen those accounts...this sounds extreme but it might be a solution for the time being.... The thing is that you can protect yourself and you have to find a way of doing that without giving up what you trully want...not getting D.. This are just suggestions, I believe you can find your way, when you swore your vows you said in the illness...well thats the illness so I believe we can find a way to survive this untill she can see clearly she has a problem or she is the one going on with D..
When the student its ready, the teacher will appear... Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.
Paul I'm sorry you find yourself in this position - you don't have to make any decisions right away do you? Maybe take a little time out to NOT think or focus on this situation (as much as you can) then come back to it in a couple of weeks? You sound tired & drained, it's impossible to make rational decisions when your at that point.
Divorce Final: Oct 2014
Your struggles today, develop strength for tomorrow...
Hi up. Thanks. I am not going to do much other than keep filling out the paperwork. I see no reason to answer W at this time.
me: 47, W:49 M 16.5 years T 17 years Three kids - D17,D14, S13 Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13 Bomb drop 11/29/13 W moved out 12/5/13 I Retained L 2/20/14 D filed 3/17/14
Hi up. Thanks. I am not going to do much other than keep filling out the paperwork. I see no reason to answer W at this time.
Whatever you do Paul, we support you here, we are with you. Do what makes you happy. Big hugs brother!!
When the student its ready, the teacher will appear... Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.
Be kind and gentle with yourself. You've traveled on a very rough road.