So what are you using, to base your support numbers off of ?
How many days are hers, how many days are yours ???
If we had 50/50 custody then the support dollars would be based on a calculation of my gross income vs hers. The difference would determine the support dollars, going by the laws here.
If she had the kids with her more than 60% of the time then the support is totally based on my gross income so that is pretty easy to determine. The same would go if I have the kids more than 60% of the time, then my W would have to pay me support.
That is just going by the book. There's nothing to say my W and I couldn't come to our own agreement which is what I'm hoping for.
I still believe 50/50 is the best option other than a R. This is all in my L's court now. I've made it very clear what I want, now it's up to my L to make it happen.
No dis-respect...I am aware of how it works...
My question was...
What are you basing it off of ??
And it appears to be some "IF's"....
THAT is why a parental agreement comes FIRST....
And it's not just me saying that...
Those were YOUR words to her, in one of your emails...
I think what Mach & I are trying to coach you on is that when she is served this week you are very likely to be in r fight of your life. Which is why you need to have your plan worked out in detail. Not just I want 50/50. What EXACTLY does 50/50 look like? Residence, school district, schedule, switching, after school activities, holidays, vacation, health insurance, communication, medical issues, college fund, and many more!!
That's what we mean by a Parenting Agreement.
And newsflash: She doesn't care what you want or think is right.
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
Drew, I have my plan worked out. It deals with all the points you mention. It is based on a 50/50 setup.
Does she care about what I think? I think she does since she needs me to agree with her or she will face a long uphill climb to get to what she wants. I'm facing the same uphill climb unless she will agree with me. If we can't agree then eventually a court will decide, something I don't think either of us want.
Mach, the parenting plan does have to come first. Not only is that my belief as well as what I've told my W, it's also the law. The only thing that my L is dealing with is my kids, everything else will come after that.
Me-40,W-37 D7, D5, S3 Separated Oct 3/2013 T 11 YRS M 7 YRS
I think she does since she needs me to agree with her or she will face a long uphill climb to get to what she wants.
She's got six months of a residential, school, and vistation schedule on her side plus an uncontested arrest against you. What do you have? Emails and phone calls?
Look, I'm just trying to prepare you for the possible ugliness ahead.
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
Mach is right. She has the children, she has them right where she wants them (living in her province four hours from you), she has them whenever she wants them, you get them whenever she says you can see them and only then, and she gets you to pay her to live and take care of the children at the amount she says for you to pay. She basically has all the cards right now. Hopefully, that will change some with the divorce filing but I see you making the same mistakes again and it worries me -- "I'll just give my W everything and then maybe she'll like me again." Stop that. It doesn't serve either you or your children. Do what's best for them, not what's best for her.
Scorp, I wish you the best brother. I have a feeling you're in for a particularly long, drawn-out, nasty battle. I really think your W is going to be blind-sided by your efforts to get more custody, she probably thinks that the way things are now is how they will stay forever- she has 95% custody and gets to mete the kids' time out to you as she pleases. Good luck and stay strong!!
Everyone seems to be taking a very doom and gloom stance right now in regards to your sitch...
Please know no one wants it to be hard for you or ugly, but they do want you to be prepared for the worst...
When you hang around here for a while, you learn that things you really never imagined are far more common than you thought.
I was the LBS. I didn't want the D. That being said...
As a mother, I was prepared to get ugly. I was prepared to sling mud if my X tried to make it difficult. And I had the mud to sling...
I felt a little silly preparing for the worst because I believed with my whole heart that my X would not do anything to hurt our S.
One day, he made the threat that burst that bubble that he was going to try to take our child. And I was glad that I was ready. In my sitch, all I had to do was let him know that it would be a battle like he had never seen and he became much more reasonable.
Not everyone is that lucky.
Right now you are not dealing with your "best friend" or even the woman you knew as your W.
You are dealing with a stranger. And a mother.
Scorp, it is time for you to separate the business side of this relationship from your emotions.
Listen to what everyone is trying to tell you.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
