Your bound to feel mixed emotions about things, it's good that you feel more in control of things & you were able to express what you want/need in a friendly but assertive way.
If your anything like me you'll probably spend some time over the next couple of days "processing" what's happened, when something significant happens for me I find myself spending a lot of time thinking about my situation again - I've now realised that's how I process what's happened so I can move forwards so try to allow those thoughts for a while.
So how are you planning to GAL?!
Divorce Final: Oct 2014
Your struggles today, develop strength for tomorrow...
I have spent some time lately with an old friend who is in a similar position to me. He is over one year into a marriage breakdown and we have been supporting eachother. He has a very large network of friends and is keen to introduce me to them and involve me in a big way. Thats good for me as my network is currently quite small so it will be good to get out and meet new people. I will be restricted a bit because of my commitments to the boys etc but it gives me more options
I'm really struggling today. Its beginning to dawn on me how significant our meeting was as it more or less confirms the end of our marriage and that frightens me. I am still trying to think in LRT but I struggle to be upbeat when I am in her company. I just want her to snap out of this madness and return to her normal self as its so painful for me to see how my beautiful, loving wife who was an amazing mum, has turned into this wildchild. She told me yesterday that she was relieved after our meeting as she has been wanting me to let her go and move on. How on earth can I do that when I feel so crap. I am trying to stay positive but its hard and I can only hope that my counselling tomorrow night helps to get me through this really bad spell...
I'm so sorry you're feeling badly. I know how much this hurts. But, honestly, you have no idea what's in store for the future. it could be much more fantastic . . . and it could be with your W . . . It's just too early to tell. Hang in there. We're with you.
Its beginning to dawn on me how significant our meeting was as it more or less confirms the end of our marriage and that frightens me.
The marriage was really over at BD. The DB'ing journey is not an effort to get your M back, you've got to put it in the rearview mirror. Work on yourself, become the spouse only a fool would leave. Do it without your W. Give your W time and space (and lots of it) to sort through her issues. Eventually your paths may cross again and you can build a new R and M with her.
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I just want her to snap out of this madness and return to her normal self
I've been on these forums a while and have read threads dating back many more years than I've been here. I have yet to read a single example of a WAS snapping out of it like that. It took her months or even years to get to the point she is at now and it'll take at least that long for her to think about you as someone she could love again. You have to take a long-term view, there are no quick fixes.
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She told me yesterday that she was relieved after our meeting as she has been wanting me to let her go and move on.
That is actually a good sign, if she feels relieved then it means she feels the pressure lifting. Often when the LBS eases off the pressure then the WAS quits pursuing D.
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I am trying to stay positive but its hard and I can only hope that my counselling tomorrow night helps to get me through this really bad spell...
You are very early in your sitch, don't expect too much of yourself too soon. It takes a long time to heal from this. Be patient with yourself and don't feel guilty about going through a bad spell, it is totally NORMAL, we've all been through very dark times in our sitches.
I thought that the physical pain would be easing by now though. Its very difficult as I am physically and mentally exhausted. Like I have said I am more or less a full time dad now also as I have them 90% of the time so with school runs and work then dinner then bedtime my days are completely full. Then when I am on my own I reflect that only 4 months ago I had a very happy life. Its so hard
Andy, have you watched the Shawn Achor TED talk on YouTube that 25mlc here recommends? If not, you should. It will really help your current mindset. Hang in there, these feelings will pass.
