My W was in MLC deep for 4 years before she showed any sign of positivity. MLC's can last from a few months to 7+ years. It's up to you what you are willing to do. That is going to be the issue.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Did you reconcile with your wife? Did she ever have OM? I feel like I want to stand, but then friends and family try to convince me to end it. Sometimes I think he really means it when he says he wants a divorce. He is having ea and pa with ow, but still claims they are only bffs. I have done all the wrong stuff, and am scrambling to decide what to do. I cannot afford coaching.
Yes and yes. Her OM was her boss, twice her age. All I heard was how she wanted a D and how he was the love of her life, etc. I never thought I would have been in it as long as I was, but I figured that at the end of the day, she was still my W and would continue to be until she filed. There was ALOT of drama going on.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Depends what you mean by "return". It took three years before I saw any consistent improvement. Every situation is different. What matters is YOU and whether or not you're willing to do the work.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
It seems to take a long time for most to get through it
It is caused by unresolved childhood issues
For the first few years, it may be worth it to stand because it gives everyone time to adjust and heal sometimes standing can create a cordial R between LBS and MLcer
We learn to detach, let go and heal ourselves
We learn to live and let Mlcer live as he chooses
Its a gamble but I don't think many LBS regret standing for a time
We will know when its time to stop and move on
WE will know if the MLCer seems to be taking a turn to come back and we will know when its time to file if they don't
It all takes time to figure out but for now there is not much you can do except take care of your self and watch the finances carefully
Know your rights just in case
peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
H seems sure he wants divorce when work thong is done. Which is unknown since it involves lawyers. I sm wondering if I should give up once we are divorced? What did you all do?
tld, You will know when you are ready to give up or not. Each situation is different. Some do get back together after divorce, but it's years down the road. Each situation is unique and different and you can base your decision on what others would do because we do not always know all of the ins and outs of what is going on when people post here.
To be perfectly honest, trying to figure out what to do after a divorce is too far into the future. Your focus should be on the here and now, especially your finances and your own well being.
Yes, it's a difficult journey, but as you move along and detach a bit more, you'll find that life will get better bit by bit.
Again for now, focus on the here and now and allow the future to take care of itself. Anything can happen between now and then.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Mine filed for D right away - I can tell you that you just do what you would normally do. Continue to GAL, be kind when you are in contact with them and otherwise I am dark (no contact). You have to detach and focus on yourself and your life. I joined a divorce group which is helping me rebuild. I still love my exH and if he ever comes out of this fog then at this point I know I will consider my options. I'm still learning to let go, it's still very very new - just saying that D is not the end of the world, it's a piece of paper. Doesn't really change anything. It was just final last Friday and it was just like any other day to me. Didn't resolve anything, didn't make anything worse. We all have to just keep living and move forward. I still have hope that one day he'll figure it out but he's in replay and I know this can last years. Like everyone on here says - you'll know when the time comes, your heart will tell you. Just take it one day at a time.
Me - 42 exH - 56 Married 10.5 years Together 17 bomb dropped 1/6/14 signed papers 2/4/14 H moved out 2/22/14 D final 4/4/14 Dropped the rope 5/17/14 2 cats, 2 dogs
It is very hard to do no contact since we are still in same house but different bedrooms. We had a bad fight about a month ago and blame each other. Since then there is more distance - no hugs, kisses, nothing. If I try, I get shoved away. We can do small talk. It seems like he is withdrawing, so I should be pursuing. But I don't know how to pursue when I can't get close.
