Well, the rubber band effect seems to continue as my wife alternates between pulling away then coming closer, pulling away, then back, etc. Yesterday I got hugs and requests for massages, today I get barely a hello/goodbye. I try to remain the same no matter what...cool, calm, and consistent.
This morning W mentioned her aunt had offered to fly her and the kids out to Oregon for a week this summer for a "semi"-family reunion. Mostly the women of the family...W's father and brothers etc won't be going (actually don't think W's sister and her family are going either). Still, I've almost always been included in those types of trips, even if it's just to help watch the kids so my wife can enjoy her time with aunts a little more fully. No mention of me going at all...which is to be expected but stung a little bit. I didn't say anything of course. Mentioned that maybe I would try to take a camping trip sometime during that week.
During our lunch a couple days ago W said she had discussed in her IC what the best way to tell the kids about our situation would be... but never indicated she had come up with what exactly that would be. Nor was there any discussion of an actual move-out date, or a firm plan for childcare/custody. W still has the idea of "50/50" for our time with the kids, but no plan of how we would actually make that work. No discussion of the situation since then.
One complaint W shared with me was that if she had her way, our house would have had an open door to her friends and family to come and hang out whenever they wanted, but she felt like she always had to have my permission first. I apologized for that, and told her that moving forward for however much time we were under the same roof together, this was her house too and she had a right to have it operate the way she saw fit. She mentioned that even her brother, who I have a very close relationship with, had said he had kind of felt hesitant to come over sometimes. Apparently he also told her that no matter what, he wanted to maintain his friendship with me and hoped that was ok with her. I ended up calling him (fully disclosed to W) to make sure he knew I love him and apologized to him for ever making him feel like it might not be ok for him to come over and essentially told him the same thing I told W--that as long as we were in this house together he was welcomed to come over any time.
H: 43 W: 37 M: 11 years T: 12 years S: 11 D: 8 ILYBINILWY, "I want to move out" and "I want a divorce": 3/23/14 MC started: 9/22/14 Affair and past infidelity discovered: 9/26/14 Piecing: 10/20/14
