A few days ago I let h know I saw the texts. I apologized for looking at phone but said it was all out in the open now could we just be honest. He still denied everything and said I was delusional. Then in the next breath he asked why I even cared what he did as we had both agreed we were married on paper only. (Don't remember that convo. Last time I said we were separated he said we were not).
Then very sarcastically he asked if I still loved him. If I still wanted to get back together. I said that I did not like the person he was now but "breaking up" had been his decision and I had always been in favor of working to preserve the family. That just pi$$ed him off.
That night when I got home from work there were 2 flowers from my birthday bouquet laid on my pullow. He was drunk so who knows what that was about.
Now everthing is the same as it was pre text discovery. Civilitu and small talk. Last night we were talking about buying a new lawn mower??
Here is the thing. I don't feel anything. Is that good or bad? Am I detached or is it some sort of defense mechanism? Have I built a life that I am happy worth that really doesn't include h or am I going along with his game to hold on to m just a little bit longer? I really don't know.
I am going to finally see an L so I have a better understanding of what is going to happen. (H had already been through this once but it is all new to me) I have an amazing friend who gave me a consultation as a bday gift.
Me 44 H 42 M 10 T 12 (at time of BD) Ss 20 16 S11 (special needs)
BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom 10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied S and I move out 3/15
