I guess you think this song is about you?

[willbwell]

the fear is not being good enough.
I am not looking for praise. Sure, there is plenty that I am good at. I am a good mother, sister, friend, citizen.

The question I asked myself is why am I so afraid? What am I afraid of? and it is that deep down thought of not being good enough.

of course it is ok to make mistakes as long as we learn from them. And, I get that we are going to make mistakes in life.

Those thoughts pop up...I'll be in class, or taking a test, and that voice is whispering in my ear... undermining me.
"you don't really know what you are doing. all this time and effort spent studying and still clueless"
Why so self defeating?

I recognize that this is my fear, But how the hell to get rid of it???

sadly I've let my failed marriage compound it too.

I am not a negative or unhappy person. I am not a perfectionist. I know my good qualities and yet this fear of not being good enough.
I help at my daughters school and that gives me joy. If I do some random act, that gives me joy.
I do see beauty in the world and it brings me to tears. I cry at the hallmark comercials.
I think I swing in both directions feeling intense sadness but also know I can feel intense joy.