The more you remind h how important the m is to you the more you indicate to him you do not think him capable of making a choice for the marriage. You belittle him by telling him he's wrong to feel the way he does. He'll start to dislike you. Don't remind him how you feel about the m he knows. When he makes those type of derogatory comments about the m and you respond with your pro-m statements you show your fear....indicating to h that you are not really what you say you are or want to be...strong, independent woman.
Just validate him say uh, huh, ok, I hear you.....NOTHING more....don't even say you want the marriage, or we'll work. Nothing about the m...you have to validate him and thus take all the power away from him to argue that the m is wrong! If you agree with him that the m sucks, well what is there for him to say?
And T2 has it right...you need to consult h about the insurance thing. Show your respect for him by deferring to him on this one.
I know this is all hard for you because you are so dependent on him financially and for your health benefits but you are doing great by taking cabs. You are making progress. What else can you do to show respect for h's wants/needs?
