Upwards - Moving Fowards, Tiny Positive Steps

[Upwards]

Day 2 of NC complete - cant believe how much easier this is now i'm much more detached! I miss him, but i'm not a complete wreck like I was a couple of weeks ago go me!!

Got lots planned this week for GAL, mainly with the kids as they're on holiday but also some stuff with friends too.

Our house goes on the market this week too - big step but certainly needed for both me & H, regardless of what happens with our M/R we both need a fresh start as this house holds so many negative memoriesn - its time for a new chapter in our lives, sad but excited, I suppose its normal to feel torn!

[3boymom]

Selling the house is a big step! I keep going back and forth as to whether I want to keep our house (assuming that is an option). Some days I feel like I want a fresh start and others I feel like we can make the house our own.

[Upwards]

I could stay here, H is happy for us to stay here & he'll continue contributing to the mortgage but I really do want a fresh start & think it would benefit me massively, we had already decided to put it up for sale last year but never followed through with it.

It holds so many amazing memories but also so many bad memories, it just feels the right time to move on & have a fresh start, new chapter for us all. H seems to think it will do our situation good too & that he'll feel better about things (thats not why i'm doing it though!!).

[Breakdown]

Day 2 of NC complete - cant believe how much easier this is now i'm much more detached!

Congrats!

I miss him, but i'm not a complete wreck like I was a couple of weeks ago go me!!

I'm not sure that will go away for a long time. I've been D'd for nearly a year and I still miss my XW. I still want to reach out to her occasionally. Of course, I don't miss the drama, or the stress, or the lies....so I still come out ahead

Our house goes on the market this week too - big step but certainly needed for both me & H, regardless of what happens with our M/R we both need a fresh start

That is a big step. I think that's part of moving forward....planning for YOUR life. You can't live like "if H does this, I'll do this." You have to start moving forward for you. If he snaps out of it, then you adjust. Until then, focus on what you want.

[Upwards]

Yeh I want to move to a house thats mine, although it will be rented at least it will be mine and will feel like a fresh start and a new chapter in MY life (and the kids).

If H decides he wants to work on things then he can fit in with ME & my life and not the other way around its been about him for long enough already!

[Upwards]

Question - I had a brief encounter with my H today as we had to sign some paperwork at the bank, as I was leaving he asked could we cut the NC to a week and pulled a sad face, I just laughed then changed the subject and left.

I told him last week that I wont be a part of his life and will stay NC/LC until he's ready to cut contact with OW permanently and shows me proof (I need this boundary to protect myself) - Should I have reminded him of this or just left it like I did & wait until he presents me with the proof?

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Completely mixed day today... all over the place, been getting the house ready so its led to a lot of different emotions.

Positives of Today
* The house it ready to go on the market.
* I'm excited about beginning a new adventure (sad too but mostly excited!).
* The kids have been well behaved & we've had fun!
* I've ticked lots of my "To Do" list.
* I've ordered myself some new glasses

[unbidden]

You did fine. No need to remind your H about your boundaries. Clearly, he knows about it since he keeps trying to get you to change it. Stay strong. You can do it

[Upwards]

You did fine. No need to remind your H about your boundaries. Clearly, he knows about it since he keeps trying to get you to change it. Stay strong. You can do it

Yes I've made sure he's very clear on it & that its non negotiable. If he asks again what do I say, I'll try to ignore or change subject but if I need to say something what could I say? I thought maybe "you know my boundary" or something like that?

[unbidden]

I wouldn't say anything at all, just move on to the next subject.

[Breakdown]

Clearly, he knows about it since he keeps trying to get you to change it. Stay strong. You can do it

Totally agree.