I am going to a sober dance with my 12 year old son. A lot of my friends from AA will be there. It's a pot luck dinner, too. I can't wait...it should be a lot of fun.
What are some other folks' plans? How are you going to keep from getting the blues?
Your husband's quote that he ""never wanted to go down that road again" echoes my husband's "I never want to live with you again"... so we have our work cut out.
I am still married to H, but we got legally separated yesterday (it was bizarrely pleasant - read about it on my thread), while you still have H around, but he is threatening D.
Your earlier list of plans sounded fine, it really is a matter of sticking to them!
The thing that shouts out from all your posts is that you need to pull back from H at this time. Do not ask him ANY R questions at all, DO NOT explain that you are doing something for him, I would say, DO NOT even give him gifts.
When someone feels the way your H does, even getting gifts just makes you madder and meaner! A while back I posted about how someone was pursuing me, was maddeningly insistent, and it is SUCH A TURN OFF when it is not wanted. Now that he hasn't called in a while, I am softening. I don't want to see him (only met him a few months ago), but I feel bad about hurting someone.
Your husband will think about you more, the more you back off him! He will also think about you more fondly!
Just try it the next two weeks!
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
I agree with Livnlearn completely. H is getting so many mixed signals now that he probably is content to allow things to progress as they are.
Your priorities right now have to be you alone. Get that person he fell in love with earlier in you M back. The steps you have outlined before are great. H will see more in this than any R talk or presents (including sex ) you give or initiate.
Quote: He mentioned having to take me off insurance when d was final... I said not if we work things out...he did not respond.... Today, I called insurance company and got precertified for counseling. Got bases covered for continued shrink appointments, too. Let insurance know that I am planning on going into treatment center and tried to find out about coverage for that. he said appraiser was coming by house in two weeks... I said that the higher the appraisal the better the money we could get for a home equity loan for new garage and decks for house if we worked things out...
ok...call me dumb, but please explain what is wrong with taking care of me and getting precertified for counseling for me? It's a new year and I can't see the shrink or counselor without calling insurance and precertifing. Until I am off insurance, I plan to take advantage of it.
The remark about the appraisal, I see what you mean...he could take that as argumentative. But he also had been talking prior to this about getting a home equity loan to get decks and a garage..so I thought maybe I was replanting a seed that was already there???
Got a free one week membership to local gym and am going to take advantage of it. Can't join, but what the heck. Gal pal and I are going to go every morning.
We start today...hopefully if she shows up. It will get me out of the house in the morning for a bit. Maybe get me back into working out and I can start using the weights I have in my basement then....
That would be a real 180...me doing something to get physically fit. Am in good shape if you look at me...but only if you are looking at me ....not really in good shape...5'9...135 pounds....but not firm....ooohhh she's here...gotta run...
Oh and as for H getting mixed signals...he gives them...not me...
He initiated the sex..after turning me down a few nights prior and saying he was never going down that road again... and then he spent the night...and allowed me to cuddle and snuggle all over him....had breakfast with me and then left in the morning with son for school....
He offered to buy me a computer....I didn't ask for one....
He finds excuses to come over here...I don't ask him to plow driveway or gravel driveway...in fact, called him and told him son could do driveway, if he didn't feel like doing it and he insisted on doing it....I've asked him to come home and work on the marriage...asked him to go to counseling...told him we need to take things slow and rebuild our friendship and love...
He said he would have dinner with me (prawns) and then denied ever saying it...
I don't ask him to come in when he does do the driveway, but do offer him coffee when he comes in...
I do ask for things I need..like a ride to the store or rides for son to school....I don't have a vehicle and don't drive due to dwi...from past drinking...so am forced to sometimes ask for rides...but I also take cabs a lot...so as not to have to ask
Anyway, I am trying hard to send the steady signal that I want my marriage to work...but right now I am not going to call him and I am determined to get a 100% grade on this effort...today is day 2 of 15 days....I can do this...I plan to keep busy and post a lot if I have to...do whatever it takes, but NOT call him....
Next few mornings gym Tues-Thursday. Tonight AA meeting Wednesday.... am going out to dinner Thursday...no plans yet Friday...counseling from 3 to 5 intake session...then no social plans yet maybe movie with son Sat...Valentines day dance and dinner ...AA Sunday ...Church
I am figuring you will have a great time as your engaging personality shines! 
) you give or initiate.