Otherwise, if you either validate or don't validate what she says, both just confirm her decision to leave.
Validation is not agreement, it is just seeking to understand her feelings. "You sound angry about this, is that how you feel?" "Yes, I'm really angry!" "I'm sorry you feel angry, but I can see why you would feel that way." That's validation in a nutshell. What it does is diffuse the situation, when the other party realizes that you actually care about how they feel and not just about defending yourself, then they calm down pretty quickly.
Quote:
She is so gone. "I'm finally awake and not taking it anymore." Time alone will not fix this. In my estimation, nothing is going to fix this.
You never know. I think most people come here expecting a big change in weeks or months. The real timeline is years, and a lot can happen over that length of time. I'm sure it seems to you like your W changed quickly, I know it seems that way to me in my own sitch. Well guess what, they can change back to loving you just as quickly. Look at the timeline in my sig, and we're divorced. Is it over? I honestly don't know, I've known people that reconciled after more time than that and are really happy now. Your sitch is very young by comparison.
Quote:
The first step of my plan has to be to get hard evidence of A. It at least helps me in D negotiations.
Have you checked with a L on this? Not sure if you're even in the US, but if so, many states have no-fault D now. If you're in a no-fault state, then it doesn't matter if you prove an A or not. It will have no bearing on the case.
