Hello and thank you for taking time for me, Eric. The changes I saw in my wife before she went on her trip were subtle. Our youngest had just started school full time and she was home alone most of the day. She didn't have many (any?) female friends and was becoming isolated. She talked about going back to work part time and I supported that. Other than that, things were good.
Before her latest trip, she was still sleeping in the same bed (no sex but would accept back rubs from me when she was stressed), still wore her ring and was being nicer than she had in a long time. She even texted me when she was on her way many times and was looking to me to help her as she was nervous about going alone. 2 days into the trip the texts stopped and she started texting our daughter and her work friends instead. She got back not wearing her ring and bragging about flirting with several men on the plane and in the airport. She called it working on her "people skills". I did not react to this in a negitive way in front of her. A week later she had texted her dad and deleated her side but I was able to figure out she was telling him she opened her own back account. He told her she needed to change her passwords on email and computer as well so I wouldn't find out. I had already seen an email from the bank welcoming her as a new account holder and set it up so she wouldn't get anything in the mail to our home. This is WAY not like her.
As for me in 2 years...... I would like to be back to making the kind of money I was until the co I worked for closed. I'm involved in a start up and would like that to be taking off. I want to keep my youngest in private school for her last 4 years (something that was important to my wife until she said she wanted a divorce. Now she says she is "better off" in public school in the area she wants to live by herself in). I want to have friends that I can do fun things with and a special person to share my life with. I want that person to be my wife! We have been together for 25 years. For all but the last year she always said she would NEVER divorce. Never put her kids thru what she went through. Divorce was for "weak" people and unless there was abuse, any problem could be worked out. This is one reason I reacted badly when she dropped the bomb. I NEVER expected to hear those words come out of her. It was just 12 weeks before she said she had NO thoughts of seperation or divorce just before I got the vasectomy and now she "changed her mind" and "can't help that". Her value about marriage was something that if she had felt different about, I wouldn't have married her in the first place. I always vowed never to marry someone who thought that divorce was an option and never wanted to go through that horror!
