HI Rick appreciate the thought. and help . I know what I was and I am working so hard to not do that.. yes i am a perfectionist.. for myself. I consciously do not expect that of anyone else..
It is more when it impacts on me.. I asked if he is willing to help me organise a kitchen in my new apartment..? It is truly a question. If he does not want to cannot or whatever then really it is fine. I have no clue what he might say so have no expectations..
he said he did not know...so I need someone who speaks the language.. if not him then I will ask someone else..
so the answer leaves me no where.. if I organise someone else I will be wrong, he will say he changed things to fit in..( I have lived this scenario already) ..if I do not organise someone I am putting pressure on and trying to manipulate
If I say nothing then he is offended I did not ask. When I say I thought it would be an additional stress he says I am managing him..and around it goes..
I don't want, need or even care to change him..but I feel manipulated.. I guess leave him out of the equation but as I have been advised to maintain a connection on this practical level ahh it is all too hard.
