"I so very consciously do not control.. or pursue or do what i see as best for others.. whether they think so or not..feels like a sort of fake way to live..how did you change that feeling.. if you ahd it?"
Bugsy hope you don't mind I give this^^a shot .
Loualea, you can always do right by others as long as you don't force it on them. People have the right to make dumb decisions. When I hear control freak I see a perfectionists. Being a perfectionists is similar to what MWD calls Cheeseless Tunnel. It is impossible to achieve perfection and you will spin your wheels for eternity and never achieve it. The way you change that feeling is by just giving up, let go. Acknowledge that it is not your job and that you are not in control of others.
Ask yourself this whenever you get the urge to change someone else. How would I feel if someone wanted me something else?
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
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