Not making your W feel important. You drop this mini-bomb on W on YOUR date that you will be away without her for a week. How's that helping you draw closer to W and vice versa? Take a hard look at your role during the interaction during the appetizer part. No wonder W went "nuclear" right there. As a woman, that's outright rejection right out of the starting gun. You flubbed this one, Jon. OWN it yourself.
then she said, "Well, you better take me somewhere nice." Then she sat there, and ate a bit of the appetizer, and then started ranting about how I always put the kids first, and never think of her, and it was hopeless. I asked her what the heck was with the response since she had JUST said that she wanted to take our time and date once a week for the next few months - I said I had taken the kids on vacation every year I'd had them.
Did you just forget basic DB 101 here? Validating. I don't see that you did any validating to W. You just argued back with her and then naturally it escalated. When are you going to learn this very basic DB tenet, Jon?
So, I was done
Over this blow up that YOU played a role in? So you are going off to a D in a snitch because your W rightfully felt rejected right off bat. You cannot blame W in this. Yeah, she didn't say the right thing about your daughter. That was a doozy on her part. But to just run out and file for D just because of this blow up?? Get real, Jon. You know better than most that there will be inevitable bumps along the way. You're not giving your W many allowances which to me is not being flexible nor seeking out her input.
Own your part. And really listen to your W.
This is nothing to do with being a "good" father....but how you can be a better communicator. The timing of your comment sucked big time!
What are you going to do to make W feel desired? She's given all hints, cues, and words to you during that date that she's really interested in working on the M.
