Do not feel bad for your decision it is in past and you can not change it, and move forward. I actually have a friend that had open marriage, and their pa only happens three times or it turns into ea too. It is your decision and no should tell you how to live. You did not know your husband would flip on you. Maybe it was his plan because he had the hots for ow and did not want yo hurt you with a, so gave you offer of open relationship.
Right now concentrate on yourself (remember that is what your spouse is going too.). What are your passions. Hobbies, likes, what do you enjoy? Buy a new outfit to make you feel better. Spend time with friends.
You are a special person and need to treat yourself that way. Come and post often. It is a way to release those feelings, as I have found most people on outside fan only take so much of you standing.
I am only 5 months into mlc, and I have tried everything wrong, and know here has helped me. If you still ate having a hard time, see a Dr for meds and seek ic. Right now it is all about ME - enjoy the gift he has given you.
