So, interesting that TWO people from his work showed up on your doorstep. Do you have any kind of a read on what their motivation was? Are these just two kind-hearted women who didn't want to see another woman be the victim of an unfaithful spouse? Are these people who have it in for your husband for other reasons and are hoping you'll blow up the affair so he'll get fired? Are these people connected to the OW (like a jilted boyfriend) trying to get revenge? Or FRIENDS of the OW, trying to pry you loose from your H since he won't admit the affair to you? Or women who previously were involved with your H themselves, and are jilted women out for revenge?
I'd just say - be very leery of what the motivations are here. Yes, sometimes good Samaritans will inform the wife that her husband is cheating. But it's definitely unusual to have TWO people show up at your door on different days. Be careful not to fall into a trap.
(For instance, on this board, I've seen the OW send evidence of the affair to the wife, anonymously, in hopes that she'll dump the husband and the OW will have him all to herself. Some OW get tired of waiting for the guy to make good on his promises to dump his wife and decide to take matters into their own hands.)
Also - this just sounds very bad for you from a financial perspective. I'd start making your plans for what you will do if the worst happens - if H gets fired and runs off. How will you support yourself and the kids? Would it be better to file for divorce now and get support based on his current income (yes, this could get adjust downward if he loses his job, but it would take a while).
