I am in similar sitch. H left to another country over a year ago. It's very similar to how job described it.... Very little contact after he left.. Euphoria etc. contact started again slowly about 8 or nine months later. Contact today is more frequent - more responsive rather than initiating. More involved though.

Truely focus on yourself and the kids- be authentic with yourself- find you- learn how to support your kids and teach them skills to manage their pain. Everyday find ways to feel some peace.,you will get stronger and your fear will be confronted. You will be challenged so use your tools to help you. Don't think about him. Really do not think about him.

We are here for you and you can do this

TPS
Me: 44 H: 42
M14 T17
S10 D7
10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month
21/04/12 H is 'DONE'
04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010)
July '14 H ends affair
May '15 H moves back home