Upwards - DB myself to happiness! #2

[Upwards]

What did you expect? He said he needed time...when you decided he'd had enough time, you applied pressure. He's not ready, so he did what he needed to to keep you where he wanted.

He never asked for time, he said all along he WANTED to cut contact with her (he said this before I even brought it up) and it was what he NEEDED to for himself. I just decided I needed to take action for myself as I knew it was affecting me negatively, how else should I have handled it? I was trying to protect myself not put on pressure. I never asked for a decision or for him to make a choice, I told him I was cutting contact because of this boundary and he begged me not to and said he'd cut contact with her.

A while back you said you wanted it to be HIS choice....did you let him make that choice?

I really do what it to be his choice & he said it is his choice, as I said above I just told him I was enforcing my boundary and he begged me not to cut contact and that he'd go NC with OW. I told him not to do it if it wasnt what he wanted. He's still adimant that its what he wants and that he didnt realise that I meant to block her number but he can see now why he would need to do that.

When you let him slide back into your bed, did you attach some expectations to that?

No expectations attached to that at all, I wouldn't have done it otherwise.

His timeline is not going to be the same as yours. He's not going to do it the way you want him to. You can't control him. But, you have complete control of you.

I realise this & thats why I said a couple of days ago I was going NC with him to give him the space and if he decided to end things with OW then we can talk but until then I cant have contact with him.

If you decide you need to be NC with your H while he's involved with OW, then you do that. You don't have to tell him anything...you've told him plenty. Just take the action and protect yourself.

Yes i'm going NC after he drops the kids today, its not possible to be completely NC long term because of the kids/business but I can do it for a couple of weeks to give me some space.

We've both agreed on 2 weeks NC then we'll come back together as it wont work for longer with the business (kid are a bit easier to arrange).Problem is that he said he's going to block her number etc now, do I just leave him to it until he shows me proof of that or just completely go NC/LC anyway?