For the second part: I wish you are reading all this.... This is the easiest part in your situation, complain about how crazy the situation is, keep spending money, loose the house, maybe loose the custody and blame her....will that make you closer to your kids? Mybe not.....that approach its making your W defend herself....both of you fighting and all of us know including you that fights always end with the non expected results....
Here is the super duper hardest part, to slow down, to calm things down, to show to yourself that you can slow down, than this proccess has not to be decided in a week.... Your W ITS ACCEPTING that you go see the kids, even that you talk to them....accept that this is how things are now, dont fight that, maybe thats God sign, go see them and enjoy with them those days, when you talk to them enjoy that phone call despite that she is recording or whatever.
Use that tool properly, the way to use it properly its to enjoy that time, nothing else, play the music inside you, that amazing Scorp that made those kids laugh and enjoy, and forget about your W, forget what she does, put your L on hold and tell your L that at least for today you are not gonna need his or her services, that will bring a better financial situation to your life, money that you can use to visit your kids.... Remember enjoy those times!! Dont worry about what your W does, if what she does doesnt affect you, she will stop doing it eventually, trust on that.
Use the tools, she said thank you, thank you its a word of love, a word of positivisness, use it everyday... Thank you
Get out of the cyrcle that you both have created, if she wants to D let her do it, whatever its out of your business....
Read Leo Tolstoi and you will see this more clear, read his story called THREE QUESTIONS , and hopelly you will identify with it.
When the student its ready, the teacher will appear... Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.
