Need help saving my family - part 10

[ye21]

Scorp your sitch its 10 threads.... And in 10 threads I dont see you feeling better...
Lets see what we can do with that...
I am going to talk a little about my changes and I am gonna tell you how I see you.

When I was living with my W I complained to God or a higher source often about our problems, I also complained about my personal problems and my hapiness, I was happy sharing times with her but I wasnt happy with the way I was feeling in my laboral life, finances, and personal life. So I kept asking to this higher source for wisdom to see what it was my problem... Memorize this: " I was screaming for help!!"
I could not read the messages and couldnt see any signs to improve, but I deeply knew something wasnt working....
Then it came the day my W left and I found this forum, I lost my job and my financial situation got awfull.... I kept saying to this higher source: why??? Why all this happening to me?? Why you left me??? Why you separate me from my W??? Why?? You just dont care!!!! I hate you God or higher source....

Oh but wait, this God or higher source has no time... You had never imagine God with an agenda or a calendar right? Listen Scorp you are going to like this part....
Suddenly this forum came to my life... If my W never said D how would it came? Then more things happened... Some of your sitches, recommending books and videos...and talking about R, wow, amazing...
And I kept thinking: there has to be a way I can do somthing to not get D...I did what all of us has done, exercise, dedicating time to myself and puff she still wants D.... This is the best part.... God has no time and doesnt run out of patience ( I am going to call this higher source God, but not in a religious way, in a spiritual way)
So God has no time, doesnt run out of patience but bro!!! I do...
God kept providing, he gave me a job... I didnt kept that job..,and I kept complaining.... Why God doesnt remove my jealousy, or my insecurities if that will make me happy?? I mean if I have to remove my insecurities...then where is that God power???
And look bro.... Look at this now... I asked God to bring me happiness an fix insecurities and fix my W issues.... And you know what God always does? He gives you the tools but he doesnt do the job for you... He made me live single...thats the best tool to dedicate time to myself, not to work only in my physical part but to improve the spiritual one, he kept giving me tools, the forum, DB books, other books, and he put me in a new job....I did the training in the job I am now for 6 days!! And the sixth day I had to pass a test... I kept asking God to "help me" pass the test and guess what: I failed and when I failed I blamed God and the manager.... But it came the biggest shift in my life, I realized hmmm in the 7th day they are going to do another test to me, one more chance, this is God helping me and I told God: thank you, I can see your help, and I can see you are giving me tools... Now I have to use them, so I studied and I got the job...

Then everything started to make sense... And I tough, wow God give us the tools but we interfere and we dont want to use them... If we listen to our signs then we can use those tools....

The results in how the outcome will be depends in how much you trust that God its really there with you, things dont just happen because, they happen because they are supposed to happen like that, if you live by your EGO thinking that you are God you cant never use those tools properly...

God its not gonna do the job for you Scorp, you have to, and many times its painful, not all the actions you take are going to provide you instant happiness but if you listen to them at the end happiness will come...

I know my issues now, God has give me the clarity to see them, he gave me the tool of going to a therapist, read books, do exercises to improve self esteem and self love...but I am the one who has to use those tools, God its not gonna do it for me....if I use those tools the way I an supposed to, then I will reach love for myself...there is no other logic...

If a person its an alcoholic, God gives them the tools, it pos a windown in google, an advertisement in the bus...and its the alcoholic the one who has to go to those meetings.... And God its inside those rooms, always, but the use of the tools its the task of the alcoholic not God's task....
If the alcoholic doesnt use the tools most of the time he will say: God you see? You are not elping me leave the alcohol.... The true is that God helped him with the tools but the alcoholic its choosing to interfer and not use that tool so he can keep drinking and blame somebody else for his problem...

Do you think you are lostening to that higher source? i personally think that you are not, because it hurts and you dont want that pain....bro no pain no gain...

God its talking to you, I am not inside of you so I dont know what signs and tools he is providing you, but I can see how you are interfering, so at the end you can blame your W that she was crazy or whatever.... You will find another woman and the story will repeat again....because you interfere, when you married your W she wasnt crazy right? Now she is, well let God help her with that, can you let God help you with your issues?
Why dont you work on them? Dont be affraid my friend, God have your back, he had your back all this years, and he has never let you down but you has let yourself down many times....

It doesnt matter why other people do what they do, I can tell you something Scorp, your situation could be way less pleasant, be grateful and try to find the message, now to help you see the signs....

Imagine that you want to be a singer, then God via other person or an add or however, he makes arrive to you the info of a bar looking for 1 singer, and the interview will take place next week, God gave you the tool....your part of the job its to practice songs, prepare a few songs and warm up, the results? They will be the appropiate for you.... Imagine that you dont want to go and you ended not going, is that God fault? Is it God fault that you decided to not go? Or go but without having prepared any song? Nop, thats the part of the homework that you didnt do...

In your M its the same, he is giving you signs, and the sign its not your W taking the kids away....do you think that maybe the sign its to analyze why are you responding to hate with hate? Why is it that you cant find what you are doing to interfere?
All you are doing its interfering, instead of trusting God, you want to take responsability on this, why dont you just let your L? Or why don you just take time to work on yourself?
I read the email of your W and she seemed very normal, she didnt all you names, she went to a L, she even appreciated the gift...

Why you dont appreciatte those words of Thank you as what it is...a thank you, nothing else...why you cant trust that? You think you might not be worth it of that thank you?

Look inside yourself and stop looking at her, God its not making this more complicated, you are because you dont want to do your homework and when you dont do your part of the job, things just dont work, its as simple as that....

I know 100% you can do this, you can improve yourself, your D its the best gift you could ever have, my W leaving the house certainly was the biggest gift Gid gave me, whatever it happens in the future its in Gods hands, I am not interfering by dating girls or Things like that, do the same, work on yourself, the tools are in your face and I know again 100% that you are strongh enough to do this, its gonna be painfull but its gonna be worth it...