It hae been a little over two months since BD, and about six weeks from when my H filed D papers. I keep circling through the stages of grief. This week I havve beenretty angry and resentful. Not only for my H walking away, but for all that he did not do for our family in the past.
Normally, I would push the feelings down and away, but I'm really trying to let it all out. I think I have alot still bottled up inside of me. My IC gave me a meditation to start to d0 everyday. I plan to start doing that every morning. I'm also really scared for my financial future of basically being a single parent raising three girls. It keeps me up at night. I think that is part of my anger this week.
On a good note, I have started to redecorate, just a little. I bought a new rug and I love it, my H would not have liked it as much, but it reflects my style. All of my H stuff is still in the house, but I'm moving all his. stuff out of my closet to have more room. I don't know how long I can stay in our home, but I will make it look as I like it untill I leave.
I really want to get to the acceptance phase of this process, but I know I have so much work to do before that happens. Some days I think that I will never make it.
M45 H46 M16 yrs D17, D10, D7 DB 1-23-2014 H filed D 2-14-2014
