Need help saving my family - part 10

[Scorp7]

Mel, a couple of months ago I met with a MC that also specialized in working with kids from divorced families. I went over all of my thoughts about my situation and my plan to share the kids 50/50 with my W.

She of course pointed out that no arrangement is perfect and there are some bad points to 50/50. However, when the parents can't agree to live under one roof, all things considered, 50/50 is the best situation for the long term development of the kids. It gives them the influence and security of both parents which is critical.

There are a growing number of States in the US that are adopting or in the process of adopting a default 50/50 living arrangement for kids when their parents split. Canada is considering a similar law that is before our government right now. Barry may be able to speak to Australia that also apparently has some form of default shared parenting arrangement.

50/50 goes against the long held myth that mothers should be the primary care givers and that father's generally are not interested in or an important part of raising their kids. It goes back to the so called "traditional" family unit where the mother stayed at home to raise their kids while the father was often away at work and not involved in raising their kids. That family dynamic has been changing for years where both parents are taking an active role in the raising of their kids. Unfortunately, family law has been very slow to reflect these changes. Part of that may be due to the money that is involved with the adversarial family court situation that see lawyers making tons of money off of parents fighting for time with their kids.

Yes, my W was a stay at home mother as well as also working a home based business. I was home with our kids every day of their lives and actively involved in every aspect. I got them ready for school in the mornings right through to putting them to bed at night. If I had not been involved before then that would greatly effect my chances for 50/50 now. I purposely designed my entire life to make sure I was home with my kids as much as possible. I'm thankful that I was lucky enough to be with them for all but at most 7 hours a day, 4 days a week for their entire lives.

If I didn't believe that my kids best interests were to have both parents with them equally I wouldn't be fighting for it. I still believe the BEST thing for my kids is to have their parents together with them so I will never close the door on that option.