Just as the crisis, a transition will take as long as it takes. Each individual is unique and so is their transition/crisis. We can't put a time limit on it. For example, it's always been said that a mlc takes 3-5 years and that was moved up to 7 years and now we are seeing that it takes some even longer, i.e., possibly 8, 9, 10 or even longer. So, it's all up to the person experiencing the crisis.
I would suggest that you buckle up, be ready to listen, but also, do not rely on just his words, i.e., actions will speak louder than words. If all he offers is lip service, then he's not ready to recommit and do the hard work. It's difficult, but it's not about you, the marriage or the children. It's about him and what may have transpired in his life a long time ago and he really does need to face those demons, accept that there are some things he can't change and learn to love and be happy w/himself as he is today. Seeking the illusive happiness in external things will not make him happy except for a short period of time. He will come to realize that happiness comes from within and that's his lesson to learn, we can't teach him that.
Be kind to yourself, rediscover the person you were before all of this began. You just might find that you are happy being that new and improved you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
