MLC @ 29yrs - What stage is my H at?

[Upwards]

Thanks job for your replies, really helpful.

Yes that sounds pretty much what i'd put him at, he's beginning to accept where he is and how he got there and beginning to accept that person that he is becoming instead of running away from himself if that makes sense? I think he moved into acceptance then has gone backwards.

His anger and negativity has left him for the most part and he's very much seeing my positives and seeing me for the person I am instead of the illusion on his head that he's created. He's also beginning to question his previous decisions and challenge himself on his feelings & thoughts.He's healing, he said he feels as though he's finally moving forwards emotionally for the first time in years and although its scary he's glad.

He's admitted that his idea of "love" is completely fairytale and that he's realising now though he probably does love me he just doesnt recognise it because of what his view of it is/was (if that makes sense?!).

I believe after rehab he moved into acceptance then got scared and ran backwards, panicking that he was committing his life and wasnt sure if that would make him happy or if its what he wanted - his emotions are beginning to surface properly for the first time for years and he's obviously very confused. He's also having to learn ways to deal with life and his emotions without using drugs/drink to block them out.

So is a midlife "transition" different to MLC? Whats the timescale that people move through a transition compared to a crisis?

I've been using DB and its been REALLY effective so far and i've seen really positive results both for myself and the way my husband is being towards me.

I have no intention of R at the moment, its way too soon and we both have a lot of healing to do before that's even an option, i'm using this time to focus on myself (and the kids) and becoming the person that I want to be again, I see it as a blessing in a lot of ways as i've learnt so much about myself. I just wanted an idea of where he's at so I can find out as much as I can and support him whilst also working on myself, I feel like if I can understand it a bit better too then I may feel less like its personal.