Getting there B.....but let me put it out flat and straight for you my friend.
Your son- He comes to you afraid of being disciplined. He actually does trust you....He trusts that you will pass quick judgement and discipline quickly. His recent reactions shows that he is not comfortable truly opening up to you, coming to you with the truth, etc....because he feels that he isn't being heard and that judgement will be passed quickly.
Is that the type of relationship you want with your children? Now I am not saying that a child should be able to do whatever and get away with it....because that isn't parenting. It is how you go about doing it that matters. See B......your whole relationship with him is based upon what you do today, and the future will be effected by the present. Think about the following;
Age 7- He is having a hard time with math....based on his current reaction does he come to you and ask for help or does he stay in his room and hide? Knowing that done the road when his grades come along you will not be happy and punish him.
Age 11- He is getting bullied at school....Does he come to you asking for advice on handle the situation, does he not tell you and it gets potentially worse, do you handle the situation regardless of his thoughts...Taking away his right to deal with the issue himself with the advice of an experienced parent?
Age 14- He has a crush on a girl.....Would you like him to talk to you about it or not talk to you about it? You are defining this answer today....though the crossroad is well in the future....one which direction he takes was defined in this present.
Age 17- He has a girlfriend and they are talking about having sex. Is he open to coming to you talking about it so that he has a safe discussion or does he just hide it?
Now that scenario.....apply it to you your wife. I guarantee beyond a shadow of reasonable doubt that she feels the same as your son. She has basically said it over and over.....You listen to it, but you don't HEAR it.
I don't know much about relationships and even less about women. What I do know that women want above all else is to;
Put R.A.S.H. in to your deep memory bank....Respect her, Appreciate her, make her feel secure, and most importantly Hear her.
If you wonder why I use your son as the base of this discussion....Look up fractal systems....the whole is just a larger picture of the parts my man...combined they reflect each other and support each other.
Think about this B and have a great day....I have soccer games to coach
