work is good; H is crazy

[Whiterose]

Hi Everyone........I'm checking in. As you have seen (or not seen) I've taken a break from the boards but H is still in full MLC swing. Today is BD Anniversary day. At first I'd given myself a year to stand and here I am just wish it was all over because I'm tired of the crazy.

He continues to spin out of control and today messaged me, at 6:30 am, to let me know he'd quit his job and if the boys, are I, needed any prescriptions or dental to do it before his benefits run out at the end of the month. According to my BIL, that works at the same place H used to, all HR would say is he is working at a print shop. So here he is back at it......He left printing because he couldn't stand it. The job, that he has now left, was such a source of great joy and now, once again, he's made another change in search of happiness. This is his 6th job move in 20 years (not including the two years he was laid off and had 2-3 jobs until he could get back into a print shop). I did respond to his email with a "Thanks for letting me know and have a good weekend" response.

I have been to Monte Carlo, back as of three weeks ago, for work. I messaged H the day I left that I was going away for a few days and the boys wanted to stay in the house (I had discussed this with my L and she said it was fine as one was 19 the other almost 15 and my parent's would be monitoring and that we could not force the boys to go with their dad). Needless to say, H was angry VERY ANGRY. He sent me some nasty text messages and then called me (this was his first phone call to discuss anything that I had sent him) where he rambled about everything I had done wrong, how I was trying to destroy him, that he was their legal guardian as well and had a right to have them before my parent's did, I stayed very calm and simply stated facts. At one point he told me he didn't want to hear my Bu11$hit answers that I had learned from a book and when I showed some emotion he would talk to me. It spun more out of control and I ended up warning him I would have to hang up if he didn't calm down. I did have to hang up in the next few sentences. He called back two hours later to basically continue to list all my faults and how I'm trying to "get him" to which I remained very calm and stuck to the facts. He then told me that me and my lawyer (as on several occasions I mentioned that I was not doing anything that it was simply how the law works) were too emotionally invested. I didn't respond to that. I did end up having to hang up again saying that he was obviously quite upset, that I was starting to get upset, and that it would not end well and that the conversation was over. When I got to Monte Carlo I noticed that SIL #2 had followed, and then unfollowed, me on instagram (she's done this a few times) so I just blocked her. Opened my email and there was an email from his L about how I had, pretty much, abandoned the boys and he would do everything he could to look after them but would need more notice next time. Wanted to know how much the trip to France (which I did not mention to him but SILL must have told him) cost, where I got the money and when I'd be back. Also, from and earlier email re: the separation agreement, still not signed BTW, I had made a reference that I conned to pay the mortgage and was keeping his credit score in tact, they wanted proof. I replied back to my L telling her the boys had been provided for. That it was a work trip and I had no idea how much my (5 star) trip was costing and that unless there was a mortgage fairy I was unaware of it gets paid every two weeks and exactly who does he thinks puts the money in? My L replied and basically stated the facts about the boys and the trip and that the mortgage never was in question before and how is it financially responsible to basically create problems where there are none. S19 messaged me a day later a text between himself and SIL #2 and it was basically that S19, S14 and Newphew 14 had gone to the drive in. S19 posted a pic to instagram (H did not, now does, have an instagram acct) so she messaged (whom she thought was H) saying "S19 is at the drive in. Just posted a pic" S19 responded "yeah that was me" SIL#2 responded "oh, yeah, have fun" S19 immediately messaged H to tell him he was sick and tired of SIL#2 yelling at him, friending, unfriending, blocking, and tattling on him to H. H responded that it was because she invites S19 over but he's always too busy. Two days later I went onto FB to add a friend and noticed that SIL #2 (that had blocked me on FB) was now "following" me (so from what I understand about that anything that I post as public (as we're not friends) will show up in her feed) I blocked her on FB too. When I got back I had to forward H a consent form for S14's ADHD testing and he called me to discuss it. I was polite and answered his questions. Next day he called me (7:30am) to ask if I knew anything about Canada Revenue Agency (CRA) saying he had not filed his 2012 taxes. I said Ididn't know anything as I had given him his file before he left and that I assumed he had taken it all with him. He said he would figure it out. I said that was great. Next day I got a message with his new phone number to which I thanked him. Got a message about CRA again and him needing the acct's contact info, which I sent to him, called the acct myself to ask what was going on and she said "Remember how I called him 3-4 times to come in and sign the forms so I could send it to them?" "yes" (I had asked her to do that) "He never came in so it was never sent" So it's tax time again and H owed approx $1200 to revenue canada which means there is 5% compounded daily interest on that, and the penalty, going back a year. It would also explain why I never received my child tax credit for 2013.

And now we're at my anniversary and he's quit his job.....13th is the anniversary of him moving out. What a year. Didn't think I'd survive BUT you guys have gotten me through those darkest moments when I thought that death was a better option. Thank you to you all for being such a blessing.....to those of you only a short way in.....you can do this. You truly can.