I have been off the boards for a bit. I just caught up with your sitch.
Dude - you are starting a journey now buddy. As hard as it is going to be, you need to leave your past where it is...in your past. I suspect that over the next few weeks/months, you will torture yourself with a bunch of "I wish I had", "I coulda". Don't.
Instead
Take your energy and focus on really fixing YE once and for all.
Understand why you are the way you are.
Take time to really figure out who YE REALLY wants to be - not what others (myself included) suggest you should be.
You are blank canvas right now man....you really can be whatever you want to be.
So....what is the next step for you? What is the one thing you really want to start working on? For YOU?
Peace, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
I am so gratefull to read you Ericsam , I remember our first conversations in this forum and how I can see things in a different way now.
So....what is the next step for you? What is the one thing you really want to start working on? For YOU?
This coming wednesday I am visiting a new therapist based on a solution approach therapy.
I was able to take one of the biggest steps for me yesterday: to tell my old therapist that I was goint to stop seeing her and try a different approach, this for me its being big because one of the things I wanted to change was the capacity to say no to other people and do things for myself... Big step hehehe
Another thing....I am biking more often and that exercise its helping me...
Another step its to listen to people and instead of justifying my decissions try their approachs if they are healthy for me...
I am starting to read a lot, I never readed books before and now I am even reading Leo Tolstoi....
More things.....I am being patient, I am accepting my feelings even if they dont feel confy at that point...
I want to change:
The opinions and way that others see me, why affects me so much?
My self esteem has to be raised.
Financially I want to repay all my debts and create a savings account.
I want to accept myself and love myself more so I have to find ways and techniques to do that.
I want to learn to see the true of what others think about me...learn from what I can and being able to see the difference of somebody being real with me or just critizicing without any benefit to myself.
I want to grow spiritually and write a book about this whole experience I am having in my 34 years alive.
I also want to stop judging myself.
At least today and in the last few weeks besides the day of the email I dont feel I should or what if I didnt do this.... I am accepting the hurt I did to my W and I believe it was necessary for both growth, also I can see how we didnt have proper communication and I want to work on my side of being able to communicate better with others...
And I want to be gratefull to God for every minute of life he is giving me instead of hating him...
Those are some of my goals What do you think?
When the student its ready, the teacher will appear... Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.
It is a good thing to change therapist if it wasnt working. The purpose of therapy is to effect change. Some do it by listening and causing anxieties others by challenging your thinking. Good luck
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
