That's mind-reading, and besides, it doesn't matter. What matters is this- 1)is he a fit parent? 2)does your D benefit from seeing him? 3)what is the best visitation schedule for your D? My W and I have 50-50 custody, and let me tell you, it costs way more for me to have them half the time than if I was paying her child support. But I love spending time with them and would love to have them ALL the time, but my XW is a good mother and they deserve their time together too so I compromised at 50-50 and feel it was the fair thing to do for the kids as well as for me and her.
Thank you your input. My H is definitely a fit parent and my D does benefit from seeing him. I would never try to keep them apart. If my H would actually keep his commitments, I think a 50-50 schedule could be the best possible for my D. The problem is that my H constantly changes the schedule to work around his life. If he's not feeling well, he asks me to keep her. He has scheduled work trips and meetings on days that he knows he is supposed to have her. These are trips and meetings that could happen at different times, but he doesn't schedule them on days that interfere with his other plans. He also schedules personal things on days when he should have her. The fact that he does this doesn't provide my D with the stability I think she needs at her age. If he made his time with her a priority, then I could see changing my mind on this. I would also prefer to come up with an amicable agreement over fighting this out in court. If we are amicable, I could see us finding a way for both of us to see her on major holidays. If we aren't, I fear that chance will be lost. I hope he'll step up and be there for her in the way she needs him to be, but so far, living the single life has seemed to be priority #1.
Maybe I need to keep thinking on this one. I don't want to not have my D 50 percent of the time, but I do want what is best for her. Is it inappropriate for me to have a conversation with him about how important it is to be there when he is scheduled to be? He and I have had many conversations over the years about how much it hurt when our parents didn't show up for us. In my case, it was my mom and in his case, it was his dad. I'm sure he doesn't want the same thing for her.
