Wife moved out to be with her Tour Guide Lover

[MrBond]

This part stood out the most..."I put a pillow near her face. I scared the [censored] out of myself, she remembers me smothering her I do not remember this. Then a few weeks later same scenario, she told me I was disgusting (i am not I am in incredible physical shape), She kneed me in my little boys. It hurt I raged and put my hands on her neck. I stopped myself balled like a baby went for help."

There is NEVER a good reason to physically harm someone. THAT is in your control. It doesn't matter how much the person is arguing with you. THEY do not control your actions. YOU do. It's ironic how much you call the OM a POS when those actions of yours would have made anyone think that you were a POS.

"Is this hopeless?"

No. However the first thing you need to do is to stop building up so much resentment against her. I mean from the way you described her, you make her sound like a total b*tch. Who would want to stay married to that?

she says at that point she decided we were done.Her soul went numb.

Then she started this friendship with this Womanizer and the rest is history.

Since January of 2012 all that has happened is a rare argument. She says I would figure out she was with the POS and circle talk her, just beg and reason and attack where she felt cornered. And when she was really sick one time mostly from guilt we were in the car and I just lectured her for an hour about her stupid POS.

She also claims I made fun of her boyfriend and their relationship.

I have been in counseling for two years, MC,IC and collaborative divorce coach 2 woman and a man, all say that I am a good guy, non violent , but she pushed to the point where I was not myself. she was poison to me and others. And that I tried to hard. They also said I will never ever do anything like this again. She told them that about three years ago I pushed her head towards the toilet. they got her to admit that she tossed the cat litter full of cat crap at me and told me she was done forever.
Based on their discussions with her, they said she is mean to me, does not respect me and blames me for everything.

They all agree that I crossed the line and over reacted, but they could see how she can bring out the worst in me. And probably will not last in any relationship she has."