the last thing that is said is "So you're going to contest it?" And i say "I guess I am if your adamant about filing without even trying to make this work". She says "Are you sure?" and I said "Let me sleep on it, i'll let you know in the morning.
First let me explain this to you because it sounds like you misunderstand- assuming you're in the US, you cannot contest a divorce, only the settlement details. It only takes one spouse to get a D in the US. So if you fight it, you will not stop it. You might be able to slow it down a little, but it will happen if your W wants it to. So in my opinion your best bet is to settle amicably between the two of you and just use a L to assist with the paperwork. This results in the smallest legal costs and the least amount of friction between the spouses as well as the child/ children.
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I ask her "would you give counseling a try? I get counseling through the Employee Assistance Program at work and it's free so no harm right?
It can and probably will harm your sitch. I have not heard of a single case of MC helping bring back a WAS. Use your money for a DB coach. Here's the thing with MC, your W is done with you and the M, so if she goes she will strictly use it to justify her position. MC can actually push a WAS into S or D more quickly. It is pressure at a time they want no pressure.
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Although the divorce is still proceeding I've noticed a difference in her demeanor with me. She isn't repulsed by the idea of being near me. We have conversations that don't turn in to arguments.
Unfortunately it is not because things are getting better, it's because she is relieved that it will be "over" soon. I'm not trying to take your hope away, just trying to get you to have a more realistic long-term view of your sitch.
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I'm applying the "last resort technique" because now i have less than 30 days to at least show her i'm sincere in my changes and give her hope for our future together.
The last resort isn't for her, it's for you. It just helps you detach.
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I just hope it's not too late.
Hard to say at this point, but understand that this is a marathon, not a sprint. It'll be months and probably years before she might start seeing a R with you as a positive thing. Give her time and space. Work on yourself.
