I was just catching up and I want to reiterate that I am no expert and this may not be to DB standards. I think sometimes the spouse (male or female) wants things certain ways for control or how it is perceived. Also, if it is a hot button for you.
In a perfect world, all relationships would work and kids would never come from a broken home. Document everything. My h on average spends 4% of the time with the kids each week. That means I have them 96% of the time. He doesn't want any "responsibilities and obligations" and originally thougth that way as well. I think when he realized what 50/50 really meant, he totally backed down. The reality is that sometimes mom is the stable parent and sometimes dad is the stable parent. Sometimes both are stable. That's not always the case.
My point is, do what you think is best. Maybe 70/30 is best. Keep track of the time your h spends with your kids. This is where this may not be DB practices....Don't worry about how taking care of your kids is for reconcilliation. Sorry. That's just me. My h is unstable and has had mental health issues for years. His erratic behavior is noticed by my kids so unless he is truly ready to address his issues (and he isn't), what he ***wants*** and what is best for my children (including the opinion of outside professionals) is my concern. I can't nor have any interest in changing him. Just like you can't change your h. He is his own problem.
And well, if he can't forgive you for doing what is best (whatever that may be), then what kind of R are you going to have anyway? Heck, people will probably 2x4 me.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
