Points to ponder...

[wishing, hoping]

Hello all

I have been under the weather fighting a cold. For the first time I am actually glad the kids are with their dad as much as I miss them. I can rest and relax and recover. There is no rest when taking care of kids. I have noticed that even when I don't have "placement" I am still busy taking care of things for them. I am starting to get better at doing things for me when the kids are with their dad.

So D got her picture in the newspaper for being in the performance with the New York Ballet last weekend. I didn't even know she was on the front page until S's GF texted him a picture of it. But then it was two days later and the paper was off the stands. So I emailed the newspaper office to see if they still had copies available. And they knew exactly which picture I was talking about. They couriered two copies of the newspaper to their other branch which is closer to where I work. I picked them up on my lunch yesterday and took one to S's soccer game last night for H. Yes, yes. I bought him a copy. It was only $1.00. And I figured he is her father and he would be excited and proud too, so I did the right thing. I handed him the newspaper and he was so excited to see her on the front page. He couldn't fake that and I knew it was genuine. He said "WH this is so awesome! You should have gotten two copies!" I said I did. That one is for you. He just looked at me. BUT he didn't say thanks. I didn't expect him too. But he was happy I did that for him. He was incredulous. He asked me how I knew about the picture and I explained it to him. He was really nice to me for the rest of the evening. It won't last I know. But even in times of trial and fire one needs to be true to themselves.

Yes I could have been stingy and mean and vindictive. Lord knows I have every reason to be. But I decided I am not going to let this divorce or the way H has treated me define who I am. I would hope H would have done the same in my shoes, but I don't expect it. First of all, H isn't resourceful enough to have found that picture. Not enough people like him. LOL.

So I feel good about myself for today. For doing the right thing in the face of adversity. But no expectations. I only did it because it was the right thing to do.

In other news I have the locale reserved and the cake ordered for S's 13 BDAY. Invites have been sent and my mom and brother are coming up for the big weekend. That will be interesting since H hasn't seen or talked to anyone in my family since before BD. I am not sure if I should give H a heads up or not? I know he will be extremely uncomfortable. Not my problem, but I am hoping he doesn't bring OW to the party. Not sure if he would. If he knows my family will be there, he won't bring her for sure. Oh...if my mom gets around OW there will be sparks for sure. YIKES! I don't want to spoil S's party with drama. My mom won't start anything but then again as my mom gets older she tends to speak what she thinks more and more. If H says or does anything stupid (which let's be honest is very likely to happen) I don't know if my mom can keep her filter on.

In other news has anyone ever made a gazing ball? People at work think I am nuts for even suggesting it. But it seems like a cool project to me. I found directions to make homemade tiki lamps and I am definitely taking on that one. I am going to have the kids make stepping stones too. I've been wanting to do this for a long time, and that time has come.

WH