I suppose you could try it, and if you get no response, then call the office and set up a phone conference with him. You are paying him for his professional guidance, so it is your right to know some basic information. And since you encouraged your W to see him, why can't you ask him if he is going to support a R or just counsel her for her issues, or what. I don't think he will give you any answers to those questions. She is now considered his patient too, and he won't discuss her with you. But you can ask him, "Since you are wanting to see both me and my W, maybe I need to know if you are a solution based, pro-M counselor". If he gives you some flip answer about letting him handle that end of things, then I believe you need to look elsewhere. B/c if he is what you are looking for, he shouldn't hesitate to tell you he is will work to give you both solutions and he is pro-marriage.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
