whytry - If you are early into this, don't believe you lost everything - yet. There are many things you can try, and time is on your side. I'm 9 months into my sitch, and my H has still not taken concrete steps taken toward D, although he has 'threatened' it several times now. There is always hope until the papers are signed. Read up on all the resources on this site. So far, they have been so very helpful to me.
Me 53, XH 57 M 20 (+1.5) years, no kids BD June '13 H moved out July '13 Confirmed long-suspected PA Feb '14 H filed for D Nov. '14 D March '15