I know you're right. I think there's maybe a part of me that WANTS him to make withdrawals from the ol' Love Bank ... so all this, ever so slowly, would be easier and less painful to deal with.
But I feel SO much better when I'm not seeing/hearing from him. Today's been nice.
It's looking less and less like H and I will be able to work together, through our mutual friend who is a L. H proposed a substantially lower amount of child support/alimony than we know the courts would provide. He's trying to hide income from his second job, though he's maintained two jobs for at least two years. I feel pretty good about our standing in that regard. What I'm pitching is quite a bit less than I'm getting from him now, but I'm looking at some gigs to help fill in the gaps. My mom, bless her, has even offered to be a roommate. Not sure how I feel about that. BUT, it would free me up to stay home with the kids and not have to worry about daycare expenses ... or S7's broken heart about going to "real" school. But that's if I get what I want. If I take much of a hit, my plan will have to change some.
As for visitation, H is dead-set on having the kids a THIRD evening a week. I'm sticking to my guns on that one. Told L to stipulate in the visitation agreement that I will not consider that until he ends his A. He can't be waltzing into our lives three days a week while our family is still devastated from his A, which he continues, even if only mostly via texting. Two days a week is plenty. L, a little surprisingly, agreed with me. It's either an afternoon a week and all day Sunday or an afternoon a week and every-other weekend. He can pick from those two. But this is the life he wanted. He needs to go live it. And feel it.
I found out OH and OW are apparently still living under the same roof. I CANNOT imagine how awkward that would be. OW has admitted to the A in a recording, apparently also insisting it's over (horsesh!t) ... and - ahem - L has a piece of evidence that could likely physically prove the A ... by use of a black light ... and DNA testing. Hurl.
It knocked me down for a minute. Just like that feeling one gets when s/he "snoops" - which I have not done since the hotel night. (And I won't do it again.) But I stood up, brushed it off and am making jokes about it in my mind now just to ease the sting.
L just told me to tell H or his L to call him. We'll still try to settle out of court. But H is going to have to loosen up his wallet quite a bit. And if he doesn't, we'll end up in court. His call.
Who am I kidding? It's *all* his call.
M: 40 H: 44 Married 14 years S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M 2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart Piecing: April 2014
